Is it good if a couple keeps coming back to each other?

We keep breaking up and making up, but our last fight, he told me he didn't want to make up last time, and I assumed he wanted to talk out the problems, so I left. I apologized (I felt guilty, but didn't wanna pressure him to get back together if he didn't want to so I kept it friendly) and he said he would call when he could and when I asked what for? he said well I remembered you wanted to talk after our last discussion. I know we have our problems that we need to work on, but is it a good thing that we can't seem to get over each other and keep coming back?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The reason your constantly breaking up is because this relationship will never work. You can't fix something where the broken pieces are missing and the reason your getting back together every time is because of the small reason you broke up in the first place for, you both think that the other takes you for granted and when one of you does something to upset the other, you both get on a frenzy and split up. This is a vicious circle you both will repeat until one of you matures in the relationship and says "enough is enough" I can see that your almost there because your not chasing him for reconciliation, but he almost always wants to get in touch to talk things over, but there's no point in a simple sorry when its not really ment and both of you will again argue about the same problem probably 3 weeks down the line again, so you should call it a day, mature a little more, have a few friends that you get emotionaly involved with, and then maybe try again after a year maybe, but right now, this relationship is stuck on doom if you both keep splitting up and getting back together, give each other that little space to miss each other and see where your at after, good luck,x

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    • Well the first time, it was about a month before we got back together, then it got shorter lol It's mostly he's so busy with work that he doesn't have time for me, I think...I'm gonna stop texting so much, maybe he'll be more available when I'm not driving him nuts lol

    • or he will realize that you don't need him as much as he thinks and actually start to miss you and make a bit more effort in the future?, good luck though,x

    • Well I'm going on the fact that when I text less and get quieter, he'll text me more (when I did recently, he texted me to tell me he had watched Harry Potter lol) and he'll want to talk to me more...Anyway, worth a shot I guess, if not I think it'll help me get some distance and perspective...We'll see and Thanks

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What Guys Said 4

  • I've told a lot of people this, that if breaking up and getting back together is becoming a routine, then it needs to end. It is not going to have healthy effects on you, him, your families and friends, or (you need to think ahead on this) your children. If things keep going the way they do, it is not going to end well for anyone involved.

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    • I wouldn't say it's 'routine'...We have several times because he's super busy with 2 jobs and I want more attention than that, so I text him constantly, which puts pressure on him and irritates him, we grow apart, we break up lol...I'm gonna stop texting so much, perhaps that'll help

  • I'd let the relatinship go. You guys keeping getting back together because it's easy, you know each other even though you both know it's not going to work out. I'd let him go because you might miss out on someone who would be good for you but you were back with him so you passed.

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  • You both know that It's just not ment to be, but you keep coming back because you just can't let go YET...

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    • We have a great connection, it's just he's always working and never has time for me, so we grow apart. Spend some time apart, we miss each other, then we're back lol

  • I don't see that as a good thing. It would be better if you two could maintain the relationship without having to constantly split up; I wouldn't want that much drama in my life.

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    • Well it's hard 'cuz he works ALL the time and I like attention I guess...We have a great connection, but maybe you're right...I don't really know what to do

What Girls Said 3

  • Probably in this moment of your life both of you can't be together because of how different your needs are or the schedules of your lives.

    So you guys may be a match for each other but things are butting in like he cannot make time for you and you cannot disperse your need of attention.

    What makes a relationship work is that you both find a balance in order to stay with each other without feeling like a big sacrifice or consequence that takes a toll on either of your lives.

    There is also a chance that you are just not compatible with him, either anymore or never. You two can get along but cannot meet each other needs no matter how much you compromise. It's also hard to stay broken up if you both display affection or let those feelings rekindle because that's what you two were already comfortable with.

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    • Well I can't speak for him, but when we breakup, I can't stop thinking about him and when we get back together, he's said that I make him happy...As for compatible, I don't know, we don't really spend much time together, which makes me wonder if he's thinking things will be better or something, but I worry. I think we're working on a balance, but I just don't know anymore, like I deleted him off my fb 'cuz I thought he left and he STILL won't add me and won't tell me why

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    • Distance makes love grows fonder. When you're apart you might only focus or appreciate the positive memories you had for each other, but it's hard to remember or stay upset what made you two break up. It's good that you try to work out a balance because it's at least you tried and eventually the answer if you should stay together or not will appear. Trying let's both of you find closure and avoid regrets, however you should definitely stop if all you do is regret being together.

    • I don't regret it, we're awesome together, but he's so busy, I don't know if he has the time...But I really fell for this guy and every time we break up, I'm a total wreck. When I stop trying so hard (texting him all the time and stuff), he tends to text me more, so I thought that was a good thing. For some reason it's really bothering me that he doesn't want to add me on Facebook...Though that might be just because I deleted him before lol

  • Omg I did not think it was possible but you have the exact same scenario as me we break up get back together all the time my ex/bf is busy with work and I like the attention more .add me tell me your story Maybe we could help each other out

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  • In my opinion not good at all. I think one of you going to get tired and leave for real. My roommate and I are the same way. When we apart he would be seeing other girls and I can't stand that.

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    • i have a friend who'se been doing that with her boyfriend for two years, she finally broke up with him for real about a month ago.

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