Having a hard time letting go of the past?

sorry this is long but please here me out?

i don't know why but I've had this emotional connection to my ex for years now. the actual relationship had its good and bad parts like every other but I guess I only realized I loved her after I lost her. our friendship/acquaintanceship/whatever you call it after the breakup was very rocky too. she kept giving me mixed signals and then ignored me on and off.

worse yet she got into a relationship with someone else and then kissed me when she was drunk. so I really don't know what was going on with her. we decided to be civil with one another again after a massive falling out following the incident and now whenever we meet at parties and stuff she still acts like she has feelings for me (which I pretend to be oblivious to) but then she stays with her boyfriend at the end of the day.

i don't know what to do. I'm trying to let her go but I realized I really love her as its taken me 2 years to get over it and I get very jealous just thinking about the fact that I lost her to someone else. what frustrates me even more is the mixed signals from her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • you very much regret losing her obviously - but how did the break up happen? Was it something she wanted? If so, it was inevitable and could not be avoided.

    I went through a very similar situation with a guy I had an emotional connection to for a few years, and similarly it ended up with a big falling out and things were very rocky with us for a long time. then we went our seperate ways and unfortunately we don't see each other or talk anymore (but I still think about him every day and miss him all the time).

    You obviously have a lot of regrets about this and it's tearing you apart (believe me I know all about this). So here's all you can do; if you've not done this already, you must have a talk with her face to face, and tell her and explain things to her that you did which would have contributed to your problems and your rocky relationship. Tell her you regret things worked out this way and explain sincerely your actions. Then let it be. This is all you can do. If she lets you go after this - there is nothing further you can do. Trust me I know what I'm talking about in this senario. This will get things out of your system and you can walk away with your head held high. Be the bigger persona and face things head on.

    If she doesn't follow your lead on this - then it is clear she doesn't not want the relationship and you must walk away.

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    • p.s. I did all this, but it still haunts me that I lost him (even tho I did all I could). he was a best thing that happened to me. so after you do this it might just be something you need to soldier on forward and force yourself to move on. its very tough, but no choice if she doesn't want to go back. good luck

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • "letting go, is accepthing how things turned out and that you grew"

    You are not the only person who has to deal with this issue (don't forget that)

    It is not that you can't let go, it's that you are not ready and willing to let it go...

    It takes time, but don't you get stuck in the moments you once had, don't dwell in the past, it will only make the wounds bigger!

    "Even when the end is near and all seems to be lost, think about the the times you value the most"

    A new fresh start, a new you, and luck and happyness will come your way!

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  • It can be tough, man, but if she is still with her Boyfriend after kissing you while drunk, and still acting like she has thing for you nowadays, it`s really best to get some distance and move on. Doesn`t sound like she has your best interests at heart to be honest. Just because you love a girl doesn`t mean it is best for you to be with her.

    I understand that it`s hard, you still love her, but there is no use torturing yourself over a girl who is with another guy now. I`ve been through something similar, but I found cutting off contact as much as possible with my ex, taking a year to get my head back on straight, and then getting back out into the dating world helped alot.

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