Why beg to not end the relationship and then ignore me?

I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 2 months now... started wonderfully; he was sweet, a real gentleman, attentive without being clingy - everything was wonderful. He lives an hour and a half from me, so we can only see each other on the weekends.

The weekend he was supposed to meet my folks (I met his and his kids on our 2nd date), he said he wasn't going to get to stay the night, like usual, and he left early. The next weekend, he kept saying he would tell me when he knew if he could come see me (I had gone twice in a row, so it was still his turn) and he waited until 6pm the day he was supposed to be here to tell me he wasn't coming. He never apologized and when I said it was crappy making me wait around thinking he was coming, he called me "high school depressed" and we fought a little but resolved it, for the most part. The week after that, I barely heard from him, 4 or 5 texts a day (we used to talk all the time) and then he was supposed to come here again Saturday. I never heard a word from him Friday or Saturday so finally Sunday I texted him asking if he was okay because I hadn't heard from him in days. He told me his new work schedule, and I tried breaking off the relationship because he doesn't have time for one, but he said he didn't want to do that, he really cares about me, he said he'll work something out... blah blah blah. I told him I'd give him a little more time but said we should keep the lines of communication open so that I know what's going on and he agreed.

Well... I texted him a song yesterday and he never responded. So, the first day after I told him I don't like being ignored, he ignored me.

Why did he bother trying to "keep" the relationship when he's not putting ANY effort into it. We haven't even had a real conversation in about 2 weeks and we haven't seen each other in almost 3 weeks... I tried breaking it off, but he wouldn't really let me, but now he's pulling this crap again... why?

note:: He temporarily lives with his parents, has 2 kids (his ex-wife isn't involved with them except for the occasional phone call), works part time and is going to school. That's a lot, I know, but he "doesn't have time to text me" but has time to post stuff on Facebook... which, of course, doesn't make sense.

Any thoughts?

I never heard a peep from him at all Monday in response to what I texted him. Yesterday, I texted him a funny picture, no response to that either. So, 2 days in a row, he's completely ignored me and I haven't heard from him today yet either... this makes NO sense after his saying he did NOT want to cut off our relationship. I'm hurt and confused and I'm done texting him so he can just ignore me some more... what's going on?!?!
Turns out he found someone else...


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What Guys Said 1

  • He probably feels like you have been over reacting to things lately. I see a pattern from the "high school depressed", to the inflexibility over his work, to your actions of him not responding to the song. He may feel like you are being immature (handling things immaturely). He has to work and he still wants you in his life, and he is saying he will try and make time. He has kids to support so his responsibilities come first. He may have listened to the song you texted him and enjoyed it but just didn't text back right away. It doesn't mean he didn't enjoy it.

    • Do you think I'm over reacting?

      I wasn't mad about not seeing him, but I was mad that he waited until after I'd gotten my home and myself ready for him and the kids. I want to see him more than once a month, and I'd like to talk to him more than once a week; I didn't realize that was unreasonable.

      And he has time to talk to a billion people on Facebook but he doesn't have time to talk to me... that just tells me that he doesn't WANT to - fine, but don't act like you do if you don't.

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    • @update: Sorry to hear that sparrow. =(

    • I've been cheated on before... I'm getting used to it, haha!

      Thanks though :) I'm glad I didn't get more involved before finding out.

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