Ex told me she cheated on me...

My girlfriend broke up with me last week because her family didn't approve of me (age difference). Anyway, my ex reached out to me yesterday, crying her eyes out, apologizing to me how she screwed up everything between us. Turns out she involved herself with another guy from one of her classes (recently, I guess, and who her family did approve of) because she didn't think we'd ever be able to maintain a relationship against her family's wishes. She kept saying how she didn't really even know this guy that well, didn't really like him, and she ruined everything between us (and she did love me)...the weekend before we broke up, we were supposed to go out, and her family wouldn't let her go with me. She was upset, ended up calling this guy, and they ended up sleeping together. And as these things go, he now won't talk to her, because I guess he got what he wanted...just sex.

I was pretty calm when she told me and spent the time trying to calm her down. Before this, I wanted her back, but right now I'm just numb. The more time elapses, the more it's starting to really bother me, that despite the fact she said she loved me, she was willing to throw that away for some guy she "didn't really know" or like. And, of course, the guy turned out to be trash.

Lol, I really don't know what my question is. In my years of dating, I don't think I've been cheated on like this before and don't really know how to process it right now. Any advice from someone who's been through something similar?


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What Girls Said 1

  • when my boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me by saying he didn't love me anymore, I went on a [idk what you would call it] 4 day party I guess, with this other guy only 2 weeks after. we ended up sleeping together and after that he basically lost interest in me. after all that was over, my ex tried to get me back claiming he made a mistake. now we are working on things and we are both more happy than ever...this is a different situation though. she had no reason to cheat on you. I wasn't cheating. the advice I give you is to try moving on to someone that would never do that to you, or give her time to hurt about it. she knows she f***ed up so maybe she will wait for you to be there again. if she does then she really loves you and regrets her decision. if she doesn't then its time to move on. sorry so long [: good luck

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    • forgot a part-he has been trying to get back with me for about 5 months now. I know he loves me. If I had not waited and let him hurt the way I did, I wouldn't feel safe with the idea of being with him again.

    • Honestly, it hurt to hear her so upset. I knew I should have been mad, angry, hurt...whatever emotion fits that piece of news, but at the time, I just hated to hear her in pain (even if it was something she caused). That's why I'm really conflicted about my feelings. The breakup is fresh, and then I get this. I'm trying to let myself process the information, whether or not I could ever trust her again, etc. It's tough, though, and I know I don't deserve what she did.

    • i understand how you feel. sometimes the people you love the most will hurt you the most. just try to take the good with the bad-at least she knows she was wrong. at least she tried to say sorry. the rest depends on what you want. give it some time to see how you feel about it later

What Guys Said 1

  • Dont think about it. I'm sure you understand it's over. As far as her cheating - try and understand what she went through with her family. I'm sure she was plenty less mature. She did reach out to you. What she did was wrong and you have every right to be hurt. Her excuse is still bullsh*t.

    I suggest you say something to her that's kind. She's wrestling with her guilt. You got the shaft and nothing is gonna change that. But at least for her you can say something nice or make her feel less guilty. She'll remember you fondly. You'll feel you've earned some good karma. Wish her the best and say you'll always remember her. Even if it's all lies.

    Be the better person. And if you have any cruelty in you, know it'll make her regret what she did even more on some level.

    The most versatile response.

    Or play the martyr. Lie and say you were cheating too. So she feels better about what she did. You don't care what she thinks anyways I'm sure.

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    • The second option's not really me. Even if I didn't care what she thought, I'm not going to stoop down to her level (even if it's a lie) and ruin my reputation. The first option will leave us (hopefully) both better for it. Like I said above, I'm giving it time to simmer. Not sure when I'll get a chance to talk to her again, but it might not even matter.

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