My boyfriend's annoying ex?

Almost a year ago, my boyfriend left his girlfriend at the time for me. They had only been together a month, so it wasn't a huge deal. But they haven't stopped talking or flirty texting, and he knows it really bothers me. She only texts him at night, and starts off with a "heyyyy :)" which is either a drunk hey, or a hey get in my pants. Right?

Ever since we argued about it, he doesn't answer her (or else he doesn't in front of me..) and her number isn't in his phone.

I almost can't take it anymore, and we've fought over it several times. Each time, he says she doesn't mean anything, he doesn't see her in person and that its just fun to tease her. I'm not okay with this, and it just isn't getting through to him.

What do you think I should do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would be upfront. Tell him that if he is flirting back, or if he is talking to her behind your back, you consider it cheating and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Ask him if you can go through his phone, but ask him face to face so he can't delete things before handing it to you. If he won't let you go through it, something is going on that he doesn't want you to know about. As for him deleting her, he could have her under a different name, I know people that do that. If you want to stay with him all you can do is let him know if makes you uncomfortable and you don't want him talking to her, at all.

    You could also go the immature way and start texting your ex, or just another guy in general who is physically attractive and will make you beau worry. Text them in front of him and laugh or smile when you notice him watching you. Most likely he will ask what, and you can be like "Oh, nothing. James just said the funniest thing." and leave it at that.

    I would go the high road though.

    • He deletes her messages as soon as they come in, and they come in with her number so I know its not under another name.

    • Yeah, then just ask him to not talk to her, tell him your uncomfortable with it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah confront him about it again. If she don't mean anything then he should be willing to knock it off. If he can't knock it off then she means something to him. Remember he left her for you... why wouldn't he do the same? Some people are never happy unless they are juggling 10 things at once and knee deep in it. But, I think it takes the focus away from you and puts it on her when you two should be talking. I would agree with the high school road as suggested. =D

    Good Luck,


What Girls Said 1

  • I see that you're insecure because they used to date..but I mean they're just talking.. and personally, flirting to me isn't cheating BUT that doesn't mean it isn't for you and I totally understand that. If he is the kind of person to cheat, test him. Allow them to talk and see how far he goes.. I think he might resent you one day for not "letting" him talk to someone

    • I don't mind at all if they talk and are friends.. I just don't want him hiding it. He's best friends with one of his exes, and I don't mind in the slightest because he would never hide his conversations or plans with her from me. With this ex, he does.

    • Show All
    • I really have no fear of them just speaking.. its him hiding things like this from me. If they were talking, and it was nothing bad, why would he delete them right away? And why would he turn his phone away from me, when he usually wouldn't?

      I've cried about it to him, yelled about it, and tried keeping quiet. I don't know what to do to get through

    • He clearly is hiding there conversations. It's up to you if you feel you don't deserve it

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