Why do I feel this way? She cheated.

Recently, my girlfriend decided to end our relationship because, she said, she didn't think her family would ever approve of me (I'm older) and that they were piling stress on her about our relationship (which I knew was true). A few days later, she called me, emotional, and came clean that she had slept with a guy from one of her classes the previous weekend before we broke up. We were supposed to go out that night, her family finally laid down the law about the two of us and wouldn't let her go, and things seemed pretty hopeless. She ended up getting drunk and sleeping with this guy. He, of course, doesn't want anything to do with her since he probably got all he wanted.

All she kept saying on our phone conversation, though, was how she screwed up our relationship, had loved me so much, and just hadn't known what to do, because things felt hopeless for us. I was numb at the time and pretty much just tried to calm her down. We've only done casual texts since then.

I've been cheated on before in another relationship and have walked away without looking back (that girl didn't seem to feel bad for what she did), and that was always my one "no way, no how" about being with someone: I don't need to be with cheaters. The thing is, why am I feeling differently with her? I've had very little emotional anger or reaction to the cheating...yeah, I'm hurt, but it's almost like I got over it. I only think about my feelings for her and how hurt she sounded for what she did. From what I know, she's never cheated before (she's been cheated on, though, so she's feeling like it's karma for her), and part of me is considering giving her another chance (though the family stuff is still an issue), with stipulations.

I don't know. I'm conflicted because of these feelings. Am I crazy for thinking this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok time to wake up dufus, FACTS are:

    she cheated on you

    she lied about it

    she has been cheated on so she knew how hurtful it is to do that to someone else, but still did it

    she could simply have ended the relationship and then go ahead with someone else

    she deflects responsibility on her family

    she "loves you so much" yet still went on and f***ed someone else

    What else do you need to understand she's a selfish bitch?

    • You think I don't already realize the things you listed (and you could have done it without being insulting, dude)? Anyone else, and I would have already bolted for the door. I've known this girl for a while, we were great friends beforehand, and we've been in a long-term relationship. I guess my only conflict was the history leading up to that moment, history that had been pretty important to both of us. She's not just someone I've known for a few months. Believe me, I'm disappointed in her.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • You're not crazy, you obviously just have feelings for this girl. But never go back to a cheater. EVER. They obviously didn't care enough to not do it in the first place, so they'll do it again. So, unless you're asking to get hurt again, I wouldn't go back to her. I feel like any relationship can be fixed, unless cheating was involved. Just my opinion.

  • No, you're not crazy. You love her.


What Guys Said 1

  • No, not crazy, I can see her doing that in such a situation. There are worse things she cold hae done.

    But the famly problems are never going to go away, and obviously they are too much for her to handle. OK to forgive her, and stay friends, but walk away regardless


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