Would you consider this cheating?

I moved to where I am about a year ago. Once I moved here I got a job and became friends with a co worker. We hung out occasionally, we text and became pretty good friends. I use to have a crush on him, but that was done in like 3 weeks. I never had feeling for him since. He was/is just a dear friend of mine. Well we both went off to college...me in the state that I was from and kinda lost touch. He got back together with his ex and I did my own thing. Well one day of the summer he messaged me on Facebook and basically was like, its been awhile, we need to hang out. I was like yeah that sounds great. But it never happened b.c around the time I was suppose to see him, I met and got in a relationship with my boyfriend. I have never been the type to hang out with guys one on one if I'm in a relationship. no matter how innocent. but considering this guy is seriously one of my only friends here Iv always felt bad not hanging out. he has asked me like 3 times now. Well a few days ago my boyfriend and I got in a fight. he's going through some stuff right now...major family issues and is basically pushing me away. I unintentionally made him mad and he told me that he was upset with me and needs time to cool off. Well as much as id like to be there for him...there isn't much I can do unless her ask me and right now he isnt...which is understandable considering the magnitude of what he's going through. Well since our fight I have been feeling so horrible. Its seriously like I lost a part of myself. He was my everything and I hate him going through this and I hate not being able to be there and be with him. I'm off of work all weekend and I want to take this time to clear my head and take my mind off of this "break" me and my boyfriend are on. So I want to hang out with my guy friend I was telling you about. I just need someone who knows me and that I can depend on. he's really all I have around here. Right now what is planned is basically a little trip like 30 min out to the country (where I grew up) and hang out around there. I want to go there because I lived there from age 5-11 and so basically my childhood and innocence is out there and I just want to reconnect with myself. Reconnect with life. So is that cheating? or a bad idea?

I miss my boyfriend so bad and honestly I don't know what to do with myself. So I'm hoping my trip tomorrow will ease the pain...if only for a day. I'm just tired of crying


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not cheating but let me ask you this, if your boyfriend and you weren't on this break, would you still be going out with this friend?

    It sounds to me like you wouldn't be and that to an extent you don't want to be alone with him (the fact you avoided previous hang outs and asked this question seems like you're looking for an excuse).

    My advice would be to trust your instinct. If your gut is saying don't hang out with him (which it's been saying for a while) don't do it. For whatever reason, subconsciously you don't want to be alone with him, maybe you've picked up on a spark of interest on his part or perhaps you're worried about liking him again, I can't say.

    By all means, go to the country and reconnect with your past. but I'd say take a bit of time out and do it by yourself. When I get stressed out by life I find alone time is often more soothing then hanging out with friends.

    Anyway, this is just some advice and my thoughts on it. Best of luck :)


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Not cheating if its a friend and nothing is happening but, great talk. I wouldn't pine over your Boyfriend for to long though if he only comes around for sex or something like that but, still needs space there is a problem.

  • if there's intercourse as well as outer course its cheating otherwise no. me I've been going with my girlfriend for about 9 months, we haven't had any "breaks". usually that means they don't wanna be with you, sorry to say.

    • 1. That's not always what it means.

      2. Considering I tried to break up with him and he told me he doesn't want that...then that's definitly not what it means. People handle their anger/pain in different ways

      ...just saying. But thanks for answering

    • i guess so, sure is different. I usually handle my problems when they come I don't take breaks from them. I work on them until their fixed. by the sounds of it, doesn't really seem like you want to be with him anyway.

    • why do you think that? I mean I do. but he has hurt me really bad to the point where I feel I need to figure things out in my head then work on fixing things with him. But I do want to be with him. I'm just hurting

What Girls Said 1

  • No, I don't think that's a form of cheating. but everyone has different opions of what cheating is. your just going to hang out with a friend. its nothing big, if you known him as long as you say you have and you know you don't have feelings for him and love you boyfriend, your not even thinking about cheating.

    So, no its not cheating just hanging out with a friend. I hope I helped... a little. :)


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