How to deal with not getting closure?

I apologized to someone I mistreated verbally while under medication. My actions are all understandable, I did the right thing by apologizing, and I sat there for days beating the crap out of myself from the guilt of mistreating someone you used to adore. I don't want to friggen do that anymore.

We used to be friends. Now I'm just ignored. Made a mistake that that wasn't actually my fault, but I took the blame for it anyways. So I just sit here and receive no closure. No response, nothing.

So what do I do? I've never been able to get over guilt that well.

Updates:
For anyone that knows about psychology, I was experiencing: EPS, serotonin syndrome, hypervigialance, hyperthermia, deliriumn, and a crap load of things the psychs couldn't explain. Just saying this for the bloaks that want to think I'm trying to not take responsibility for my actions and get off easy. Ya, cause experiencing life threatening symptoms are trying to get off easy.

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What Girls Said 2

  • "Made a mistake that that wasn't actually my fault",...now it's not exactly her fault either is it? You seem to be averting the responsibility here a little. But you apologized and that was the right thing to do and that's all you can do. You can't make her forgive you. You've done your bit that's all. you don't know how your actions affected her. if she chooses to walk away from this you have to let her...you made your bed etc...accept responsibility. but it not fair for you to expect forgiveness and absolution. maybe in time she might if she can get over the hurt. think about her and stop thinking about how this affects you.

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    • " I did the right thing by apologizing, and I sat there for days beating the crap out of myself from the guilt of mistreating someone" - ... you apoligised your YOUR reasons not because you were concerned about how she felt. Think about how she feels for a change...your question is all about you and how you feel. Stop being so selfish.

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    • Well it appears I hit a nerve eh. So are you telling me to F off or are you thanking me. Look I've gone through something similar and wanted to give you the girls possible point of view to help you. My answer was harsh but it was intended to help.

    • I'm thanking you. But I felt that it was a little too harsh that nearly turning into a vegetable is a fair compromise...

  • maybe you should give them space...or show up and ask for a hug? I have no idea really

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    • I do. I don't go seeking for them. There is a website we both go on... ... ugh.

      I apologized and thought it was the right thing to do. Admit my mistakes and basically take it all back. We go to the same university, heh, and I don't think her courses are anywhere related to engineering and yet I've seen her there, and she seemed frantic. Which I think has really triggered this...

    • My current feelings I mean...

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