Ex-girlfriend that is pregnant with my future child.

Hey guys,

I have this situation which is literally tearing apart my heart, soul and future. I have never felt this stressed and depressed in my life.

Basically, I dated a girl for a year and a half but ended it because I could not see myself marrying here.

Soon afterward, I started dating another girl. They way we feel towards each other is incredible. We have been seeing each other for about 2.5 months and both have confessed that we are really into each other, and are heading towards saying we love each other in the next few months if things keep going the way they are. She means the world to me and I mean the world to her. We both have dated plenty of people but have not felt as strongly towards our past partners as we have towards each other. This is one of those situations where you just "know" you are right for each other.

Fast-Forward about a month and a half into our relationship and I find out my ex-gf is pregnant with what appears to be my kid, from the end of previous relationships. I figure there isi a good chance that it is mine since I heard through friends about the pregnancy, and she has offered to take a paternity test to prove it.

My current girlfriend and I are completely devastated, as we both know that this will probably tear her apart from me, as she mentioned she is not sure if she could emotionally handle me being around my ex all the time when the kid comes. She has mentioned how torn she is about the situation- if it does end up happening she mentions she will not know what to do. She will be torn between choosing between what her heart feels and what she thinks she knows what is best for her in the long run.

What do I do, we both do not want to lose each other over this.

Updates:



Regareding "lessons learned", she was on the pill and I used condoms. the condom broke one time towards the end (during her most fertile day). And the pill apparently failed.
Can everyone please stop with the "live and learn" or "you made a mistake..shouldve been more careful".


WE WERE CAREFUL!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know if I could handle that situation your girlfriend is in, it would eat me up inside known she's had your baby, and its your first child which is special and its not with me, even though you are not togither long its just the bond you and your ex girlfriend are going to share would tear me apart and I couldn't deal with your ex girlfriend coming over with the kid, I wouldn't treat the kid diffrent but it would be hard, and if you really do mean the world to her, she would stick by your side no matter how hard the sitatuon is and it is a lot of baggage or a short time togither, but if she does stick by your side she will be the 'one' for you.

    Hold her hands look into her eyes and tell her you want her in your life, your sorry for the sitatuon but you would be devastated to lose her for good as she means a lot to you in this short of time you feel someone special is there and it would be a shame to end it, explain how gutted you would actually be open up your heart to her and if she does give it a chance then that's amazing but if she doesn't then you will need to let go

    your number one priority is now going to be your baby kid, and it would take a lot for a girl who isn't the mother to be 2nd best in your life.

    there is basicly nothing I can say to make things better for you apart from live and learn and I'm so sorry your heartbroken by what is happening in your life, I feel your pain. I hope things work out for you and best of luck

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    • I am sorry to hear you are struggling here. I agree w everyone. You have to get the paternity test to know the truth so you can make the best decision possible.

      As for your current girlfriend, true love is a gift. Although it may be tough for her go imagine - maybe her heart will open up. You have to make her feel safe & that you love her. And, nothing will get in btwn that.

      Fight for true love. It doesn't come not our lives everyday.

      You can grow a family together. Family has many diff vers 2day

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Make sure, hands down, this is your child. If it is, you do have a responsibility coming your way, and should be there for the child. No-one says you HAVE to be with the mother, but the child needs you as a father. As for your new girl, she sounds like a jealous person. She should understand that you want to be with HER & that things between you and you ex are done with, and you know deep down that you could never get back together with her. I would just explain all that to her, and she should understand.

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    • I wouldn't say she is a jealous person. She started dating him in a current situation she believed to be the truth. If she started dating him while he had a kid on the way, and then bailed when the kid came, I would see your point.

      If I started dating a girl, and found out a month later she was pregnant with some other guys child, I would remain her friend, but probably cut the romantic ties.

    • Yeah, but she should know that his relationship with his ex is over & he wants to be their for the child, not to get back with the ex. I see your point of view, though.

  • Get the paternity test! and I SECOND what AltTech said, If you lose her consider it lesson learned.

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  • I am in your girlfriends shoes right now,my boyfriends baby is due in November.We were only together a few months when we founds out,I was shaken at first but we love each other so we going to make it work

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What Guys Said 1

  • Get the paternity test. If it is yours, you simply deal with the consequences of your actions. if you lose your current girl, there is nothing you can do but consider it a lesson learned. Sometimes, you can't fix a situation, you can only deal with it. This sounds like one of those times.

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