Best way to communicate to my ex?

It's been less than two weeks since we broke up. We've talked on the phone once (she called) and texted here and there. She told me on the phone why she broke up with me (and that she regretted it and still cared for me), but she was extremely emotional while doing it.

It's been over a week since that phone call, and I do want her back and to see if we can try to work things out. However, I texted her on Saturday to see if I could call her to talk, and she said sure, but when she's "ready," which in her mind means when she can deal with talking about the feelings. Honestly, this could be a while, because she's never dealt well with talking about her feelings over the phone or in person (I'm surprised she did when she called last week), but I also feel like she thinks what I have to say is bad, though I've told her it isn't. It was to the point where she wanted to know if it was something we could text, and I said I'd prefer to talk about it with her at least on the phone.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about us, what she told me on the phone, and to see if we could work things out, but as much as I want her to hear my voice when I say it, I'm worried that too much time would pass and she'd move on, thinking I don't care, if I have to wait for her to be ready. I considered at least a brief conversation on FB chat, but it just feels so impersonal to me...

Any ideas?


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with RealDeal.

    Don't contact her because 1. it may make her think about you more and miss you 2. even if you didn't break-up the relationship, you need time to process your feelings 3.give you time to be selfish and focus on yourself 4. if you are thinking she's wanting to get back together this space will also give you the time to think about what caused the break-up.

    Most important thing is not to chase her at this point because you might chase her away. Let her chase you.

    Sometimes us girls do stupid things and act in the moment of a feeling and don't really think/feel things through.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think you should push her for a convo, you may not like what you hear. I'm not saying that, that is how you are coming off. She needs space and time, you need to give it to her. You might not understand what she is going through however, you have to respect it.

    On that note, she broke up with you so you need back off. That's one of the reason's why they leave. So the best solution to this is to send her a text telling her that you understand that she wants space and will speak to you when she is ready. Tell her you will respect what she is asking and that you will not contact her. Let her know that if she doesn't hear from you it's because you respect her and not because you don't' care for her/love her because you do and that is why you are doing this FOR HER (because breaking up is a selfish act she is being selfish). Send that to her and leave it at that. Make sure you do not contact her. By doing this you'll give her the time she is asking for and you also give her a chance to miss you by disappearing. If she moves on, she moves on, she made that decision when she left. Make her see what she is missing. A man that respects his woman, even when he doesn't understand why she acts the way she does.

    Bottom line, she left so it's time for you to be selfish. Go put yourself out there to meet new people because I'm sure she is doing the same thing.

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