Ex boyfriend?

Please hear me out. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me about a month ago. He was not sure about us anymore, I was his first love (although he is 27 and I am 29), we were at 2 stages in our life, he was scared we were going to end up in different cities for our job and he is attracted to other women although he is still attracted to me.

He did not have the strength to break up with me at first and I told him I would be strong for him if I had to, that he was a great guy, etc. My attitude (teling him he was no monster, that I love him but want him to be happy) and the fact that he adores so many things about me, that he's not sure he's making the right decision, all of it made it even harder for him but in the end (after 3 hours) he broke up with me and moved out. He freaked out when I told him I had to delete him from my life (Facebook, number) but I did it for myself. He said that I was like family to which I replied "no I am not, I am nothing to you anymore".

Las time we met (about 2 weeks ago) he told me he thought he had made the right decision, that h was talking to some girl and that it felt good to not feel guilty because he had a girlfriend and was interested in this girl.

I told him how I felt about what went wrong (he doesn't know whether he loves me), the fact that we took each other for granted and we were not making a lot of efforts because we are busy with school, my body image (which is absurdly bad I realize now), etc.

He agreed and said he was emotionally satisfied (he would kiss and hug me until the very end) but not physically (once again due to my body image and the fact that we got into a routine) which I realized (and I let him know about that).

At the end of the conversation he took his face in his hands saying "I have to think about us", he was lost because he adores so many things about me. I told him I was going to be out of his life for my own sake although he replied he never asked me to do that and wants to hear from me. He asked me several times if he was making a mistake to which I said "you're the only one who knows but if you feel like you need to hear from me you know how to find me"

I did not contact him for 2 weeks. I was at a bar last week and saw one of his friends walking in and she saw me. I decided to leave immediately but HE walked in. He did not see me though. I went home and next day, in the morning, he contacted me about my snowboard that he was supposed to give me back 2 weeks ago. In the exchanges I could feel he wanted to see me but told him to just drop it off at the back of the building. He eventually did it and sent me a text asking me how I was doing. I answered by a simple "yep".

It's been almost a week and I don't plan on ever contacting him again but why would he want me to be in his life? Why would he want to see me when he was the one who dumped me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • One reason he dumped you because he doesn't want you; he's not sure his feeling for you? Forget him. You did the right thing by deleting his number and from FB. You deserve a fresh start with someone else who deserves your attention and love.

    Also, why the heck you stayed with him knowing he's been attracted to other women? If you're hoping to change his mind, you're wrong. Usually people in relationship stay in hope it will get better, more likely it's not going to happen. Sorry to be so blunt.

    Just curious, you mentioned twice about your body image... weight problem?

    If he wants you to stay in his life for no other reason than he still want sto hang on to you, I don't know what that is, guess because you're his first. You never forget your first...

    • did not know he was. He told me that after we broke up, that he had been attracted to random girls from time to time. He did not do anything though and decided to let me know to be honest with me. I mostly have issues about my breasts but no problem with my weight or anything else. (I'm 5'9" and 1245pounds). He always told me he loved me the way I was and that I was perfect in his eyes and I know that put a damper on our relationship. I realized it and told him so

      He told me he was not unhappy

    • Oops something went wrong with my comment:

      He was not happy (he told me) but wanted to have experiences as he felt he missed out and I was his first real girlfriend. He could not attract other women before me ( he is handsome though)

      But you are completely right: I have to forget him. It takes time though. You cannot forget someone you shared your life with for 3 years in an instant, especially when you did not fight and supported each other in everything.

    • " not happy...but wanted to have experiences as he felt he missed left out" , no duh! If you were perfect in his eyes, he should feel complete not lacking of anything. Who was he lying to here? Both of him and you. I have to say your better off w/o him.

      May I say that most of us have physical flaws that we like to change otherwise; learn to adore and love yourself first so that others can like and respect you. I learn this a long time ago to accept and appreciate the look God given me.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe he is not 100% sure wether he made the right decision or not. 3 years are a long time and if the feelings were genuine it is especially hard to let go. As you said he is still attracted to you and he might be serious about that. On the other (not meant to sound mean) he might use you as a safety net. If it doesn´t work out with anyone else he can just come back to you. It sounds to me that he was lying about him thinking that he made the right decision and is not ready to cut you completely out of his life. Who knows what his true intentions are?

  • He doesn't know what he wants.


Recommended myTakes