I proposed to boyfriend?

I will just get to the point. I've been friends with a guy for 3 years, we met online, became best friends, etc. at one time, I had strong feelings for him, however at the time, he kept sending mixed signals as to whether he liked me in the same way. After 2 years of going back and forth, I had decided I had enough and started dating someone local. (Keep in mind the online guy is in another state). I was dating the local guy for a year until the online guy then told me he had been in love with me all this time and he just wasn't ready for anything "serious" at the time. I was having problems with the local guy anyways, so I broke things off with him. (the local guy and I are still "friends"). Keep in mind, this past summer, the online guy and I finally met in person after a 3 year online/phone/IM friendship, he then confessed that he is in love with me and slowly over time, I've felt the same way. So we decided to have a "committed relationship", we spent 4 days together in a mutual state (we met 1/2 way in person). He then started calling me his "fiance", in which he didn't properly propose or anything. I've been divorced 4 years now and I didn't think marriage again would be in my list, but lately, I've been desiring for it because I do love this guy. Here is the issue. I started talking about marriage (he's never been married, was engaged once, but she died of cancer about 13 years ago). I basically proposed to the guy today and his attitude was like "why"? He is planning to move to my town in the spring. He says that marriage is a devil's worship. Then when I asked, "are you saying no?", he just said, "why do you want to get married again"? I said because I am in love with you and I can't see myself marrying anyone else...etc...etc.

Honestly, I've cried some today, thinking, here is a guy that finally came to his senses that after 3 years, we should be together.

As you can imagine, I felt torn apart. Any suggestions? Thanks

Updates:
After thinking of this after a couple of days, I've pretty much decided to just drop the issue. I even joked with him about "turning my proposal down" he said he didn't but I see like it is. Once he moves to my town, we'll see what happens.

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What Guys Said 1

  • oy, id try and give you advice but I don't have enough life experience.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hm... if he doesn't want to get married then why did he call you his fiancee? That doesn't make much sense... And if you didn't think you would want to get married again why would you propose? It sounds like you're both a little conflicted with your emotions and thoughts on marriage. I think that maybe you tried to rush things along and that might've made him a little nervous. I understand you two have known each other for 3 years, but knowing someone online and seeing them in person and being in a relationship with them are two different ball games. I think you two should just drop the subject of marriage for awhile and see how things go first. I knew and liked my ex for about 3 years before we got together and it was the worst relationship I've ever been in. How he was in person (over time) was nothing like he was online. See how things go after he moves to your town. After a year or so if things are still going well, then start worrying about marriage. What's the rush?

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