Just broke up with girlfriend. Advice?

She was my first, and I still love her. She says she is not in a good place personally and she needs time to get well. I told her I would be there for her but I can't be "just friends". She said she loves me. Any advice or words of wisdom? I'm reeling right now...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • As cliche as it sounds, try your best to go no contact. It's the best way to resolve your own emotional stuff. When you come to terms with all of that, THEN revisit the issue of being friends. I think too many people do it backwards and it just doesn't work that well. Let all the emotional debris get cleaned up first before trying to be friends. When you try to be friends right off the bat, it just drags out those lingering feelings and makes getting over all of it even harder.

    It sucks to be given a bs reason like that, but do your best to keep to yourself and away from her. Find a friend to talk to about it and help sort your feelings out a bit. Then get busy doing you. It's rough, but it's the best approach.

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What Girls Said 3

  • That "just friends," stuff may work later, but you need time being like totally apart to learn to be single people again instead of a unit. You will probably always care for her (as everyone does for their first). It's OK to not be there for her for a little while because you need to take care of yourself. She may still love you too, but the reality is it's not working out with you two as a unit. Try to gain some space from her, hang out with the guys, get involved with things you love, learn to see other girls as hot/attractive (do this in steps, starting with noticing their outsides) and do NOT compare them to her! She is not perfect! Remember that, there is someone better out there for you & you will find her! Be strong, be brave & if you need any other help, let me know! :)

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  • how old are you? I think you're gonna meet so many girls in rest of your life and love some of them. there is no need to be stuck in a one person. I can understand you are upset now but it will be gone. don't worry;) there is one thing to you to do now is just let her go. saying "i'll be there for you forever" works just to get her away more and more...

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  • From my point of view she is trying to sort out her life and a relationship would complicate things. Just be there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on and don't push things. If it takes longer than 6 months for her to start dating you again then you may want to reconsider how much you will take for that relationship.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah this sh it sucks. All you can do is make sure to let her know all your feelings so be honest with her, no games. If she can't be with you or she's over the relationship there's no point in trying to convince her otherwise. Things do get better with time though, really. I've found going out with other women took my mind off the pain for the time being but didn't help much with the real issues. Now is the time to work more on yourself if it really is over, and if you guys last, working on yourself will not hurt your relationship either.

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  • If she were feeling it for you, she wouldn't need a break from you, and she wouldn't need "time to get well." She would be leaning on you for support. That's an excuse to hide the real reason for her behavior -- low interest in you. You did the right thing by showing a backbone and refusing to accept her "just friends" nonsense. Now comes the hard part... you need to let her go and move on.

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