How do you get over someone that you know emotionally used and abused you?

When I learned that a man that I had developed a strong emotional attachment to (and who lead me to believe in unmistakable ways that he was interested in me) had a girlfriend (and flirting with several other women as well) I put an end to his advances. Due to the fact that it was at work, I wanted a civil environment so I shook his hand and said "Truce". The next day he came into work with a woman that was as ditsy as Kelly from Married with Children, unattractive and probably 1/2 his age. I wanted to say "Is this the best that you can do?" I thought that he brought her in to make me jealous, not because he was going to miss ME but because I wasn't going to be fawning over him anymore. It seemed inappropriate to bring her into work because she was getting touchy feely in front of the customers. I asked a coworker (who knew about the whole situation) about it. He told me that is was not his girlfriend; it was a woman who is interested in him. I felt hurt because it showed me even more that he was never interested in me; he just chases anything in a skirt but at the same time it showed me that I never would have had a shot with him (even if he didn't have a girlfriend because he will not dedicate his emotions to one person). Nonetheless, there is still a part of me that is emotionally attracted to him. I cannot understand how I can still have emotions for someone who was never really interested in me and how I would even want to be with someone who is so shallow. There is no way to avoid him at work and any time I see him or someone that is wearing the uniform from his department of the store, I get the butterflies in my stomach again. How do I allow these wounds to heal, move on and get over him? My head already knows that there is no chance in the world that he and I could be together and even if that opportunity came around, he would just use and abuse me again. However my heart is not willing to comprehend that and will not distinguish between a real emotional connection and what he lead me to believe we had for around 1/2 a year. What can I do to put an end to this daily anguish.


0|0
01

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I felt hurt because it showed me even more that he was never interested in me, -> not in you but in what you had to offer him in that time.

    I cannot understand how I can still have emotions for someone who was never really interested in me and how I would even want to be with someone who is so shallow. -> Their isn't anything to understand about, it's just because he trigger something in you, he touched your weakspot and made you want him, be attached to him... just an other dirty mind game.

    There is no way to avoid him at work and any time I see him -> I've been there, done that. It's really frustrating, but you've just got to put yourself above him! He' s like the air, you can feel his presance, but he isn't actually visible.

    My advice: All you can do is take time for yourself, take time to recover from this emotional abuse. People always want to care for others, but at times we forget to take care of ourself. So stop putting and wasting time into him, and start putting time into yourself! Do you really diserve to be treated like that, does someone like him diserve someone like you? I don't think so.

    You just have to let all this emotions that you keep deep inside you come out, by writing it down on a piece of paper. So, you can let go of them, of all these emotions and thoughts. That's an other step to move on... You'll let go step, by step. Don't expect that it all will vanish all the sudden. Set new goals you want to achieve (work, hobbys, friends, ...). Surround yourself with people that do care and love you. Don't spend to much time alone, because you'll only think about all the bad that has been done to you.

    "Don't think about the past, but think about now"

    "Don't think why me, but just accept the fact that it happend"

    "Take this as a lesson to the future, those kinds of peole don't stand a chance with you, because you know their true selves"

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks so much; everything you said makes so much sense. I spend a lot of time moping and thinking about how foolish I was to allow myself to get caught in that trap. However, I obviously cannot undo it. Regarding your statement of he liked "What I had to offer", you are spot on; however, as pitiful as it is, all I had to "offer" that he wanted was a boost to his ego and being female, it fit the ego boost he wanted. I truly appreciate your insight and I will take it to heart.

    • You're welcome. Just remember that you're never alone.

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Loading... ;