Did he cheat? Or was it harmless flirting?

I found text messages on my husbands phone to another woman. They were very flirty and full of compliments to her eg telling her she is stunning, and fit etc etc. He had been texting her for 2 months everyday, from early morning until very late at night, but always in secret. I later discovered he had invited this girl on a night out and met up with her and her mates, while he was out on a works do. He claims that nothing physical ever happened and nor did he want it to, yet admits that he did find her physically attractive and was flattered by the attention from her. He says it was all silly messages that went too far and he never wanted to be with this person.

Did he cheat? Do you think he had intention to take it further? Or was it just pathetic flirty texts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honey, it's like this...either he IS interested in "something else" happening or it already has and he told you a BOLD FACED LIE when he told you otherwise. A guy doesn't flirt with someone if there's no interest in the possibility that something else might happen...UNLESS...the woman is a close personal friend of his and if THAT were the case, then you would have met her and he wouldn't be secretive about his texts...moreover if it WERE just "silly messages" he'd just tell you about it and give the both of you something to laugh about ... together.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Trust me: he's cheating. He's a dumb cheater that he would leave that stuff on his phone but he's cheating with her and I don't mean just sexting. He's very likely doing her. The question is why. Men cheat for a lot of reasons but it usually has to do with not getting something they really need from you. If he wants kinky sex or deepthroat or anal sex, you need to do your very best to give it to him and you also need to make sure he knows you're trying your hardest.

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What Girls Said 2

  • That's cheating for sure, in my opinion. Cheating isn't about getting only physical with someone, yet it's about getting your mind and feelings (lust or love) involved with someone other than your partner.

    If I were you, I would be hurt and would talk to him. Yes, I think he will continue with what he's doing, but will find a smarter way to get intouch with this woman that you could not figure out.

    Do you really love him? Do you really understand him? Are you happy together?

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    • That is my worry, that he will just continue. He has to see this woman at work and although he is telling me it is over and they no longer speak to each other, something is telling me to remain cautious. I do love him and believed we were happy together, but as for understanding him, NO I dont. I never thought he was that sort of person. I feel he is just telling me what he thinks I want to hear but as hard as it would be to hear, I want the truth.

    • I think he is living a life of his own that you don't know anything about. I am SURE he will continue on doing that with her or even with another woman. His moral code seems loose, in my opinion. I can't tell you to just leave. You should decide this for yourself. But, I must say that you should be cautious and observe his attitude. Try to get to know him more, travel together, spend time with each other, go out more often, etc...

  • You have to ask your self, do I really know my husband? Did you think he was capable of sending flirting text messages to a woman? If not, it is possible he was also capable of taking things too far. All you can really do is once again, ask your husband if this is the truth. If you trust and believe him then that should be enough (you shouldn't question him anymore.) If you intuition is telling you something different then I would go with that.

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