How to stop caring about pregnant ex-girlfriend?

First, this is a messed up and complicated situation, something I've never dealt with in my years of dating and relationships, and I'm finding myself oddly conflicted about this. Not sure why I feel this way or how to get past it.

To start, my girlfriend (now ex as of three weeks ago) has a history of drinking, something she's been dealing with for years, but until recently, she'd had it under control. However, she started to fall off the wagon again, and it got worse several weeks prior to our breakup. She ended up breaking up with me because of family drama involving our relationship (which is true, though I now know this isn't the sole reason), which hit the fan a few days earlier. She ended up drinking that night, but I wasn't with her. Anyway, we broke up, but still talked here and there. She hadn't wanted to break up, but said we had to, that it wasn't right for me to be stuck with that, and I deserved better. I still loved her, of course.

Anyway, the drinking continued, but she called me one day soon after, crying, and admitted that the night she got drunk after the drama went down, she ended up going out with some casual guy acquaintance from one of her classes, getting drunk, and they slept together (that was also why she broke up, because she had screwed up). This guy, of course, moved on right after and didn't want anything else to do with her. The further problem? She was three days late for her period when she told me this, and she had attempted to reach out to this guy, who basically told her not to contact him ever again. Of course, I was hurt by this news. She said that she screwed everything up with us over something that meant nothing.

Fast-forward to this past weekend, when I reached out to her to see how she was. I had considered possibly forgiving her for the one-time cheating (not something I would normally consider doing, but I felt that our history, which had been fine until then, maybe deserved another chance). Anyway, she called me this weekend, telling me that she doesn't know why I love her, that she is, in fact, pregnant with this guy's child, and that things would never work out.

I'm still heartbroken by this entire situation, and I realize that it's not good to be with her, that I do deserve to be with someone who doesn't act like that. That, plus the fact that the baby (which she is keeping) would just be a constant reminder to me that she cheated. At the same time, I still love her, and I'm just concerned about her. This one-time mistake is something that will affect the rest of her life. Up until this entire thing, I'd considered a future with her, but it's still sinking in how quickly this deteriorated.

So how to get over it? I've done the normal things you do following a breakup, but it just seems different because of the fact that I now have an ex who is pregnant and dealing with this life-changing situation. How do I stop caring about her and her well-being


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  • Find new women to occupy your time with, that's what has worked for me in the past.

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