Can I get a straight answer out of her?

We broke up 4 days ago. Based on what she told me, she couldn't be in a relationship right now because she wasn't happy with herself. We were in love, but she said "I can't love someone else if I don't love myself." Over our relationship she constantly told me that I was the only one she ever wanted to be with, that she wished we could live together (we can't right now because of school), and even said she could see marrying me one day. I felt, and still feel, all of this for her and it was my impression that this break of ours wasn't going to last forever, we just needed to get our lives together a bit more and get into a position where we can be together (physically, too. she is away at school right now). But now I just don't know where we stand. I tried telling her that I still loved her and that if a break is what she needs, then that's what we'll do. She said she was sorry and she didn't know how things would be in the future. I'm going crazy not knowing what is going to happen. I don't see how we could have felt so strongly for each other, and then over the course of literally less than a week (from the last time I saw her til we broke up) she says she can't love me anymore and isn't sure if we'll ever get back together. WTF? Any advice on this or words of wisdom?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Logistics are screwing things up. You're away from each other, and can't be together. So why not put this relationship on the backburner and date other girls at your school?

    I know it's tough right now because you love this girl. But it's not favorable circumstances for you both. Better to keep her at an arm's length and just talk like you're close friends. Perhaps things will change in the future, but it's just not good timing right now.

    In my personal opinion, I couldn't be in a serious relationship with a girl who lives far away from me. Long distance sucks. The emotional connection can be there, as long as you talk. However, no physical intimacy = no relationship.

    Stop going crazy and grab control of your emotions. Be happy, do well in school, and start meeting and talking to new girls. Be a social lion. Have fun, live a good life. And when you find a new girl that you want, go after her. And take her to bed. Next thing you know, you won't care so much for this girl anymore since your attention is focused elsewhere. You won't go crazy for her anymore - instead you'll be relaxed and in a better mood.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Same story, been together with my boyfriend for 2 years, amazing relationship, told me million times that I was the one, and the only, and that I'm the love of his life, and no girl even compares to me, spoke about marriage over the summer, treated me like gold everyday...last month out of nowhere said he's not sure if he can continue this relationship at this point, needs time and space to figure out his life...I'm just as confused as you are!


What Guys Said 2

  • You're too young to be talking so much about liftime commitments. She's wise to take this break and consider her position in life. You should take her advice and enjoy a time of no pressure.

    We never knw wat's going to happen, so try not to worry about your future together. Just be glad you are friends, enjoy the times yu are together, and que sera sera...

  • Try writing her a letter


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