Cheating Ex girlfriend .. Why am I feeling like this? thoughts?

Its been a little over 2 since my Ex-gf of 3 years dumped me. She cheated the day before she dumped me saying she fell out of love and became infatuated with this other guy (not sure if this is a rebound or not). She begged me to continue being her "best friend". She also gave me this BS of a line " if you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours forever."

I was doing all the wrong things after the breakup - crying, pleading, calling, and all the usual pathetic stuff. I tried to do NC 2 weeks after the break up but cracked and sent her a joke via pretending like nothing has happened. She responded cheerfully and we continued this for a couple of days, until I decided I cannot do it anymore. She continued sending me several emails after that but I did not respond.

I went into strict NC and have not heard from her since. It has been over a month and I feel much better. At times I feel like I'm completely over her but then on rare occasions I feel this rush of emotions that just pretty much paralyzes my soul. I know she is not the one for me, but I just miss her sometimes.

Logically I know she betrayed, disrespected, and abandoned me; but I just want to know what's going on in her head or mine for that matter. Why is she still constantly on my thoughts? Do you think she is still thinking about me, or is her focus on that guy?

Updates:
Quote from her: "Cheating gave me the courage to break up with you".


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you meant a lot to her at one point, then I am sure every now and then she does think of you.

    Right now, you are doing the right thing. Keeping her afar and focusing on yourself. Continue to do so, and you will be completely over her in no time.Stay strong!

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    • I guess what I'm feeling now is loneliness. I've been focusing on myself and hanging out with old friends, but I just miss having someone I can always turn to for anything.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Hold on. These waves of emotions will grow smaller and further away one from another.. in the end you will stop missing her.

    As to her, it seems like a childish ruthless game she's playing. I'm sure with time you'll be able to see right through what's been going on, just hang in there.

    No one deserves to be treated this way.

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    • I'm beginning to question if I actually ever loved her or if I just loved the comfort of always having someone there.

    • If there's something I learned in love is.. when you love you know you do \ did. When you doubt it then you don't.

      Maybe you're questioning this aspect as a defense mechanism, maybe you really didn't. Only you know :O) But you're making progress for sure!

      Forgetting someone is one of the most difficult things..

  • im kinda going through the exact same process as you are right now. Except he didn't cheat on me. Your doing the right thing right now with NC. It can only get better from here, I think you probably cross her mind here and there, but if you keep up what your doing right now, things can honestly only get better from here :)

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  • But that's just normal. Luckily, the heart regenerates. You may harbor a few scars from a long-term relationship in your past, but know that the heart regenerates as long as you stay open to love.

    The girl cheated on you...it's her loss, I'm sure. You have to think that way to make the last dredges of this phase pass, so you can be ready for the next person in your life. You may also want to consider your contributions to the relationship. Did you lose yourself to please her?

    NC was the best thing you could have done for yourself. Really.

    Now try to breathe and imagine the next person -- what will you want in a girlfriend? What do you think she'll need from you? Have these goals clear in your mind. Love and relationships run on a two-way road. It's up to both people to contribute to each others' lives, to cherish and respect each other. "Falling out of love" is bs for saying it wasn't real love.

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    • Its funny that you asked if I lost myself to please her. She actually told me that she lost herself to please me. Not sure if this is true but she told me that she did a lot of things to make me happy but in the process made her unhappy. She felt she was not the person she wanted to be, thus wanting to breakup to find herself. She felt she was too dependent on me for everything.

      If she told me this before she decided to cheat, I felt like we could have stayed as great friends.

    • You're probably right...

    • Cheating gave her the...

      Oh brother. She really has a bunch of lines and excuses to defend herself... Moral values, anyone?

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm sorry to say it but if she had feeling and thoughts about you , then she would not go on and hurt you the way she did , that's what I think and I can't know what's on her head so its only an opinion on the matter .

    Its normal that you still think of her , you are not a robot and you can't just delete her out of your heart , just focus on other things and as time goes by you will be fine and she will be a memory of your past .

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  • she wants to keep you around as a plan B, what eles would she give that speech

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