My ex will not return my stuff and has ignored me. Do I mail her stuff to a relative?

Here are some additional details:

She wanted "space" from me after 6 months. This happened a week before we were going to Thanksgiving to meet my parents. She said she had doubts about us and all that.

She called me 2 weeks later to formally break up because it wasn't "fair to me to keep waiting". She had a lot of anxiety over saying it. She promised to meet up before the holidays to exchange things over dinner, and as expected, she didn't call.

During all this, her best friend was giving me advice about what to do because the break up was a shock to her as much as it was for me. Her best friend also seemed interested in not telling me too much to avoid getting in the middle. I found out later, that her best friend actually asked a week prior to the break up how we were doing and was told our relationship was "awesome".

During the breakup, her best friend wouldn't get involved by telling me if it was someone else. 2 weeks after the formal call about breaking up, her best friend calls me up and asks me how I was doing (I was being very distant).

Her best friend goes on to tell me the ex wanted to see me before the holidays, that there wasn't another guy involved, and that she (the best friend) wanted to meet up with me in a month. Keep in mind, everything her best friend has told me would happen hasn't.

I've been very distant during this. I haven't pestered the ex or said peep to my ex. I did wish her best friend a happy new years and thanked her for her help. That didn't result in any kind of response (weird, huh?).

Here's the clincher, I have some of my ex's stuff and want to give it back. She has some of my stuff and won't give it back. I emailed her a direct and nice email the other day about exchanging things by meeting up, or mail. I haven't heard peep it's been a couple days.

I'm on speaking terms with her sister (she was really shocked too). So, I'm going to try to ship the stuff off to her sister. I don't know what's going on but, it feels like a very *weird* situation to say the least.

Don't get me wrong, I love her and it hurts, but I'm not fooling myself either. I'm trying to move on, I just want this stuff out of my place and my life to make that transition easier.

After having read this I understand that I still, honestly, haven't moved forward much, but, I'm on my way.

Any advice, tips, or insight would be appreciated!


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What Girls Said 1

  • I understand that having her stuff with you delays you moving on. I think it's very respectable for you to just ship her things to a relative instead of you know, have a bonfire or something, ha ha!

    We can't force someone to talk to us when they're not ready and you're taking a very healthy attitude by just focusing on yourself. It seems like you and her have open communication so there's no question (?) of where she stands.

    You can still love this person but not ruin yourself in the process. Good luck, dude

    • Thanks for the comment! I'm not sure if the channel is very open! If it's just a one-way channel of communication, that doesn't really seem to do much for me. I am trying to make this as easy a process as I can; we've both said that we care and like each other a lot it just didn't work out. This kind of thing happens *all the time*.

      I was confused about what was going on the other end of the line. Then again, if I'm not hearing from her, maybe it's best that I don't know!

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