I caught my girlfriend cheating and now we are trying to work on our relationship.

So as the title says, I caught her. She did it with one of her close friends and when I found out, my world was crushed. We have been together for 15 months, but we got really hot and heavy and talked about marriage and the like many times and moving in together, out of state together etc. I am a young father(26 next month) from a past marriage and now divorced. I have a 3 year old daughter who loves my girlfriend and I really fell for her as she did for me. Her reasoning for doing so was the talking of settling down and stuff put pressure on her and scared her, she is 23. So when I found out all hell broke loose, I asked a million questions, why did she , does she love him etc. Him and her slept together one time many years before she and I met and they have been friends in general for about 10-11 years. I told her flat out she can never speak to him again or see him, because if she does I am gone. If she talks to his friends, I will take that as a work around to speak to him and I am gone. We fought and we fought and she said this is the first time she has ever cheated and she hates herself so much every day for what she did to me. I can honestly say it isn't her in her character to do something like this, her older sister who is a close friend even flat out told me she would never do it and when I told her she did she was very upset with her sister and told me that this isn't like her and not who she is etc.So after weeks of fighting and going about, we have finally decided to just put it behind us and move forward. I love her beyond anything I can describe and I believe in second chances for good people.But there lies another problem. For months leading up to the cheating and even now, we have altering schedules with work and school and I have my daughter bi-weekly. But in the past she would always come visit me because money was tight for me at the time even when I had my daughter and when I did not. We used to have sex all the time and it was amazing. But for the last 4 months, she has been stressed with school and with work and living at home with her family so I understand the mood may not always strike her. But I got my money in order so I have WAY more than I used to in the beginning so I am always taking her out on dates, to dinner, bringing her to my house and taking her to and from work and I gladly do it, but now I am really starting to feel like this is a one way relationship. I always set everything up and when I suggest she comes over, she is too tired or doesn't want to waste the gas. Yet she will go out of her way to see her friends who she rarely sees and at first I was cool with it, but now I am like getting to the point of being done trying. I brought all of this to her attention last night and she has yet to talk about it, but now she really knows.

In order to get this relationship back on track, should I back off a bit and let her come to me and try a bit or should I keep giving all the effort, hope for the best?
Updates:
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Also I should point out that she did give him up that night, changed her number and deleted everything from her phone. His number, texts etc. And she called him before hand with me next to her and left him a voice mail explaining to him that she and him can never be friends again, she messed up, to lose her number etc.
I caught my girlfriend cheating and now we are trying to work on our relationship.
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