How can I get my ex back? PLEASE HELP

o me and my boyfriend have been broken up for almost two months. we had been dating 6 months, and starting in January, we did long distance when I went away to a university two hours away. towards the end of the relationship, we started to fight a lot because I took a lot of advice from family and friends on what to do, and was overly worried, and he took a laid back approach and wanted to wait for breaks and the summer to see each other. I wanted to come home more frequently. I was very staunch that we talk and stuff, and he went with my lead, and we were happy, but I'd still freak out a lot. we ended up breaking up when he didn't come see me on our 6 months when I returned home, and I said it wasn't working out, we weren't treating each other well, and wanted to try again later. he was pissed, because it made no sense: he had promised me more time in the summer. but he got rid of me on all forms of communication and we haven't talked since. I spent the last two months to figure out what went wrong, and it was because I was such a brat about things, when I had been promising I wouldn't be. he was a great guy, but insecurities and lack of trust just ruined things. I've tried reaching out and explaining to him I get him now and that it IS all my fault and I hadn't spoken to him in months, I wanted to talk. he's ignored me and has written me off as annoying. what can I do to get him to realize I f***ed up big time and that I'm sorry?

But it's so me to cause drama and apologize.. So he doesn't think I'm any different. But I honestly just miss talking to him as a person, his family, everything. But we haven't spoken. And most of his friend's ignore me now. I feel pretty stupid and running into circles trying to analyze everything. The last thing I said to him was that I wanted him to be happy and I have gotten help for being so unstable and selfish and that I wasn't understanding him at all, just picking fights like he said. He'd said he'd never hurt or leave me, and then I turn around and leave him!? SOMETHING, ANYTHING to talk to him?! Or should I just tell him what's going on or say more? It's been 3 weeks almost since I sent that last message. I've already tried four times talking to him.

i sent him a text saying: just can't take that I let you go over something really stupid. I can't take that I can't see your smile, hear you laugh and feel you with me anymore. or to even talk to you. how we could just lay around and hold each other and things be okay or talk about the stupidest things to tickle you in spots you don't think that you're ticklish in, to get you to dance, to watch all of our favorite shows together and funny movies, play that silly song on your phone you hate, watch community together or have stupid inside jokes, the feeling of knowing I can make you happy and tell you anything. I miss you so much. I know I was a child and blew it because I was trying to protect myself, and was so selfish and mean. I just want to trust you,
How can I get my ex back? PLEASE HELP
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