Why won't he talk to me? Because he liked me or because he never liked me?

I met a great guy while visiting my hometown, but I didn't think anything would ultimately happen because we lived 1000 miles apart. Despite this, he kept in touch with me for a year, and he put way more effort into it than I did. Then I ended up moving back to my hometown for unrelated reasons. He started pursuing me, but I didn't make it easy for him because I didn't want to be just a booty call. I wanted to make sure that he liked and respected me, because I knew I had already fallen for him. After a few months we finally saw each other, and we seemed to have even more chemistry than when we first me, which was awesome because now we were friends, too. After a bit he turned hot and cold, so I offered to walk away, but he wouldn't let me. He upped the intensity dramatically, making me believe that he genuinely was interested, then, a week later, he suddenly had a girlfriend and child. Now he won't talk to me. (I don't bother trying anymore, either. I gave him the opportunity for a week and that was it.) My question is: is he refusing to talk to me because he actually did like me and now feels guilty, or is it because I was never anything more than a game to him?


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What Guys Said 2

  • My money is on him having really liked you, or else he put a lot of effort into it for it having been just a game to him. Maybe what you saw as "making sure I'm not just a booty call" seemed to him like you weren't that interested...but then something would make you seem interested, and he thought YOU were being hot and cold?

    But a girlfriend and kid all of a sudden? What a mess. My guess is you probably lucked out by having this not work out, whether it feels like it or not

  • It really seems like it was because you were trying to make sure he really liked that. A lot of guys hate that, and we hate trying to prove our love it they won't prove it back. So I'm guessing he just moved on to someone that he knew liked him back right away.

    • Didn't think of that. I'll have to remember that for the future. I was afraid that since we had sex the weekend we met (I figured it would just be vacation sex, but it turned into more) he might only see me as a friend with benefits. Guess I shouldn't have overthought things. Anyway, we are talking again, and it turns out that he had gotten back w/his ex, although that is not going well AT ALL. Also, I don't think he's ready for a relationship, so I can see that your point is even more apt

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