I'm having trouble trusting my boyfriend, due to past bad relationships.

I'm currently dating an absolutely AMAZING guy. He's so kind, sweet, thoughtful, lovely, affectionate.. I could go on! And to be quite honest, it really feels all too good to be true.

My last relationship I was with the guy for a year and a bit, and he treated me awfully, was incredibly controlling, cheated on me several times, and just made no effort whatsoever. I was really hurt by the end of that relationship.

I've been with my new boyfriend for nearly four months now, and I genuinely couldn't be happier! He has never done anything that should make me doubt his love and trust for me. I did meet him only about a month after breaking up from my ex - which I know is incredibly short space of time, but I didn't purposely go seeking another boyfriend, and he's so lovely and so perfect for me that I couldn't miss out on a relationship with him.

However, I am really having trouble to trust him, and I've done two silly things lately that I'm mad at myself for and would hate for him to know about. I checked his phone when he went out the room, and I've also checked his Facebook.

I am so so so mad at myself for doing these things, as to be honest they are completely out of character. But I just had a horrible feeling that this really was all too good to be true.

I am quite low in confidence in general, about my appearance, and I guess I just don't know why I'm so lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend.

I'm scared I'm going to ruin things with my trust issues, and need some advice before I mess things up! I really could see myself being with this guy for the rest of my life, and I just want to be able to trust him. Please help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • First things first

    1. Boost your self esteem, no one can do it but yourself

    2. Bad relationships and being cheated on etc is something that really is not in your control (some people have that kind of luck - if you believe in it, that they wind up getting such situations all the while, however, in your case you are concentrating {too much concentration is a form of meditation and when you meditate on something too much you achieve it} on it so much that you may wind up getting what you ask for.

    3. If this guy is good then you require to reign in yourself first (easier said than done but I know by practice that it's not impossible)

    4. Talk to him about your earlier situations and your state of mind now (including trust issues and self esteem part), this must and will help especially if he is the way you describe him to be.

    5. Point 4 will also ensure that when you mess up he understands and stands by you.

    End of the day NO ONE CAN DO IT BUT YOU, it's inside you and you need to control your devils.

    Good luck :)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • never know to your boyfriend you may seem outta his league me an my girlfriend are tight about 2 months in but there was something that didn't or did happen before we got together an I asked about it an got a answer from a friend I said forget it but I still think about it..and wasted energyon it cause when I see her my mind reminds me she cares..best thing you can do is save your strength for the relationship instead of choking yourself til you fall XD

  • just get over it and enjoy each other. why worry of something that did not happen yet.? Don't be needy or he will just end it...have fun and be yourself...


What Girls Said 2

  • to be straight up yoou have to put the past in the past and keep going with things that are good. You don't want to be the one to cause the break up so I know it will be hard but you have to stop and try to trust him and that shouldn't be a problem if he doesn't give you a reason to not trust him.a woman usually feels it in her heart when her guy is messing around, and it sounds like you haven't had that feeling so just keep going with the flow and I wish you the best of luck sweetheart!

  • You need to know that you are worth being treated with respect. You deserve respect if you are a respectable person. Don't let some sh*tty person from the past ruin your future. But at the same time you need to be cautious. You think he is an amazing person? Would an amazing person cheat? You are contradicting yourself. Why do you feel like you don't deserve him? What makes him 'too good' for you? You might waste your time wondering if he is cheating, to realize you missed out on a enjoying being in the moment with a great guy.

    • This is really helpful, thankyou.

      I am a respectful person, I give my all when in a relationship and would do anything to make the person I'm with happy. I guess he's not 'too good' for me. I just need to believe that more!

    • Helpful enough for a best answer helpful? ;)