My girlfriend of two and half years broke up with me on Jan 28 saying she needed some space and time to focus on herself. The reason she gave me was because I didn’t spend enough time with her and me always giving up on the relationship when we get in arguments, but I work part-time, and I take 12 credit hours of college, and plus play the keyboard and drums for my church; and she works as a full time social worker, so when can we spend time together. Usually, when we get in arguments we are back together within an hour or two. But this time she telling me that she needs to focus on herself and she is tired of getting hurt by the people. So I agreed to giving her space, so it’s been over a month and I decided to check up on her, and her personality has changed completely, she seems so heartless, she tells me that she been deeply depressed, and she never wants to date any guy again, she told me that she don’t care about anything anymore. I told her you just saying these things because you are hurt, but she told me she truly means it. I asked could I take her out to feel better but she said it would be odd going out with a person I wanted to spend my life with, I told her that she shouldn’t give up on love, but I still deeply love and want this girl in my life, my question is what can I do to help her get over the pain I’ve caused, now that she is heartless. I told her that I’m always here if she needs me, I would like to send her good morning text messages to her, to show that I still care, but any other ideas. I need some female advice thanks.
Most Helpful Girl
I think you shouldn't forget that her pain was not directly caused by you but by the fact that you weren't communicating properly. I think it's not too late to fix this relationship, however it would need more attention from you and more understanding on her part. If she is very sad and hurt at the moment, this is a good time to be with her, listen to what she has to say without telling her that it will all be good in the end. Don't tell her she shouldn't be sad.
If she still has feelings for you, which it seems like she does because she is deeply upset (she wouldn't care to talk to you otherwise) try to help her find out WHY she is feeling the way she is, let her vent. It might be very hurtful to hear what she has to say but bear in mind that the sadder a girl feels the stronger words she will use to describe the feeling. Don't ask her how she feels, ask her why she feels the way she does.
Make sure you don't tell her that she should be happy. Let her be sad, just be there with her when she is and don't get frustrated if in the beginning it doesn't help.
Give her plenty of attention, reassurance. Let her know how you feel, what makes you sad, angry, happy.
Make sure it's all honest, don't pretend to care if you don't.
And when she is feeling better and when everything works out for you two, work on the communication.