I want to break-up but he has no where else to go......what should I do?

we have been dating for almost a year now. i have fallen out of love with him and i tried to recently break up with him. he begged me to take him. he said he would change but i really don't see a difference. i want to move forward with my life. i feel that he is dragging me down. he doesn't work and i just co-signed on a car with him. i prob shouldn't have but i thought it would help him for getting a job and helping with bills. i can't take it anymore. i'm tired and drained emotionally.
Updates:
Update: I have dumped him and as far as the car I'm driving it. Its a nice car and I will sell it soon. Thank you everyone!

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  • Drop him. I know it is hard, I had to do it with my ex wife. When someone mooches, takes and takes and takes, that's just who they are most likely! If you co-signed the car your name should be on the title, sell it. Its hard asking someone to move out, trust me I know. I had to have her move back home states away. But you have to just admit to yourself the truth and stop twisting your thoughts. I noticed you said that he said he would change. If he changed, he wouldn't be the person you fell in love with anymore. And nobody can permanently change either, just for a short period of time.

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  • Just tell him that and, since as you said "he is a user", you might have serious problems with him as he is the tipycal pimp. Put him out and he will find a way towards his 'friends', and if he doesn't, he will go after his family. If he has no one, he will go after work trust me.

    That's his life. That's his choices. If don't feel comfortable with him, you shouldn't be living with him either. About the car, that was your decision so you might have to sell the car and split the money in court, unless you do it peacefully.

    Talk to a layer (only advice. Do not pay him because he will try to make more money after you building a case) about that and you will have to make the decision of dumping him or "borrow" him a house for something like a week or two to give him time to get a job and say bye bye for good. If you don't feel secure about that, don't give him time and he will be forced to find something (since he's a user, he will probably end up selling it too if he isn't already)

    It's your life, so it's your decisions. If you take him to a court house, about the car (assuming you own the property and everything, but the car) you may have some arguments in order to stay with what is yours, including saying he is a drug user. Be hard on him and don't let him take you down as most would. You need to be strong on that and you should talk about that with some of your family members if you need help.

    * Assuming "user" means a drug addict

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  • First of all, I can understand why you want to dump him, and that's all well and good. If you feel like he's not sharing similar goals and you're not moving in the same direction then by all means dump him. He has no where to go? He can always move back home with his parents or siblings. I would advise that you give him a week or two at the most to make some sort of arrangement and if he doesn't make any arrangements then that would be on him.

    As to co-sign a loan for him, especially when you know he wasn't working. What were you thinking. If he wasn't working then, what made you think he could afford to buy a car? This is one bad decision that can really come back to haunt you, because if he doesn't make his payments, guess who the bank or finance company is going to call to try and get the payment...YOU! Furthermore, if you can't or won't make the payment, guess who's credit will get tanked besides his...you guessed it. If you don't work things out with him financially this will effect you the next time you need to apply for a loan.

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  • poor baby. who cares for this loser? only you obviously. for no reason.

    here's the answer: link

    perfect demonstration of irrational help.

    you should be ashamed of your naivety - he's gonna change and you'll somehow start loving him again? lol. don't be ridiculous. and then if that is not enough you go and COSIGN a loan. are you f***ing insane? with ha jobless bum.

    never ever thought how that cosigned loan can affect YOUR entire life if it's not payed off properly. who cares right? it's important to help some pure loser aka your half-ass boyfriend, right?

    the solution;

    start caring for yourself and leave this loser behind. get yourself a lawyer immediately, get your name out of that loan or whatever, break up with him, kick him out and ignore him, and then move the f*** on and forget about this loser.

    if you don't do this, then you *DESERVE* to suffer honey, because you made some really stupid decisions one after another.

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  • JERRY! Jerry! JERRY! Jerry! JERRY! Jerry!

    - OK. Folks we have a very interesting case. This man is a total waste of human flesh and needs to be dumped at this moment.

    The girl raises - Screams her heart out and speaks of all the Bullsh!t she had to endure because she was dating this guy.

    the guy (dumped and hurt ) leaves the room.

    JERRY! Jerry! JERRY! Jerry! JERRY! Jerry!

    Calm down folks this is a classic case portraying the importance of breaking up.

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  • You need to dump him. Like you said he's dragging you down and you need to move forward. He needs to move forward also even though he doesn't want to.

    As for the car loan, hopefully you can get paid back, but don't count on it. I hope it wasn't a big loan because there is a VERY good chance you will end up paying the whole thing. If he's not working and defaults they probably won't even bother going after him and go straight after you. They'll go after whomever they think has the best chance of paying and that's you.

    Lesson learned. Don't ever ever ever ever ever co-sign a loan like that.

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  • if you are not happy with your relationship then there is no point in continuing it.. tell him that in a strained relationship there is no happiness for both us and you move on with your life..

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  • amen Red Arrow...I would add reposes the car, you pay for it and have signed for it. Sell it.

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  • 1. Cosigning on a car with an unemployed guy = axing your own leg

    2. Being practical is better than being emotional in such cases

    3. Sell off that car by any legal means possible so that that deal's null and void

    4. He may be going through a bad phase alright but if he's basically someone who doesn't want to work etc then best dump him and if you don't, you guys go ahead and get too close (even marriage) then please spare the future by not having children - you chose hell and that's not a kids fault

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  • You fell out of love with him. That was when you should have put yourself on the fast track to breaking up. Instead, not only do you continue having him live with you, you cosigned a car loan. Absolutely not the thing to do! (Did you hear my head-slap?)

    What should you do? Well, how about what you should have done in the first place. Give him a deadline to move out, and stick with it. He needs to find other living arrangements. He needs to find work. He needs to make something useful of himself. Notice, each of those stated with "He needs..." He is the one that will have to do it. Your part is to let him know that your deadline is serious. And stick with it.

    As for the car loan, you may be about to get screwed (in an unpleasant way). If he won't find work and won't sell the car, then you may end up needing to see a lawyer. His late payments will hurt your credit rating.

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  • it's a tough position and you've dug yourself in. Is your dissatisfaction more to do with the financial situation he's in or do you truly not find yourself attracted to him as a person (and the two could be intertwined)...

    Ultimately you should do what is necessary regardless regardless of his financial situation if you are truly no longer in love with him. You can't stick with him simply so he can pay off the car or have you pay it off for him. It's going to be tough for both of you but you need to do what is best for you.

    You're kind and selfless and that is admirable, but you can't simply pay his way forever. He is a grown man and is ultimately responsible for himself

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  • You left out some important details, like how he treats you, for example.

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  • Dump his ass now. Pity is a no foundation for a relationship.

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  • You really need to break-up with him. Find your happiness.

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  • Well you're on the hook for the car loan. That's your own fault. Dump him

    Jobless loser

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  • What would you like him to change about?

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  • Tell him that it's over and he has a month.

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  • believe me, do not let guilt alter your judgement. He's responsible for his own life. As a matter of fact, enabling him to be that lazy is actually the worse thing. He's an adult, he has to take care of himself. Do him a favor and tell him to pack his stuff and be on his own.

    Regarding the car. That's your problem. You co-signed with someone who can't pay for it. That was really dumb and you might end-up having to foot the bill.

    Both of you will learn a lesson. That's what life is about. Don't feel bad, everybody has similar pains to go through.

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