I want my ex back, why do you think he left, how do I get him back?

My ex left me recently after 14 years together, and a child together. I noticed this slow downward spiral of our relationship for the last two years. I tried to make it better but a lot of the things I did were wrong. The more I pulled him the more he pushed away. He left several times in the two years. We had huge financial problems and other personal problems also. He started hanging out with his old friends and family a lot and never being home. He changed his look and he acted different. Now he's gone, he says he still loves me but doesn't think we should be together. Then he agreed to be together, then he took it back and said I still don't know. I feel him struggling with what to do, how do I make him choose to give us another chance? His problems with me were that he said I was needy and nagging and acted like his mother. Please help.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • tough situation. Financial hardships are a freakin dagger because they can lead, create and bring a whole array of issues. It sounds like you two need the help of a a therapist who can help you two vocalize your issues in a productive setting and then provide aide in overcoming those issues. I don't know that we can provide the answers you need as it sounds like as you said it's been a long downward spiral and you seem to be staring up from the bottom of a deep hole that you can't dig out of. If you are commited to making it work try to find a relationship therapist to help mediate those issues and provide you two with the tools to overcome those issues

    best of luck!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well I would have really loved if I had someone like you, well you just care and love him and that's the thing his not trying to see, its his bad that his not with you, you are just a very nice person.

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  • how many pounds you gained after all these years and a child?

    this is very important question, so be honest.

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    • I am pretty much the same, I am just as pretty if that matters, lol.

What Girls Said 1

  • Yea I get what you mean.. it's usually hard to get a guy who left back. But I guess what works in most times is to just stop looking for him , stop asking him to get back .. Worst case scenario, he stopped loving you.. but that won't deny the fact that he once did .. so he obviously wants you .. but doesn't like what you do .. and in order to attract him again is to show him that you don't do what annoys him anymore.. Just try to learn to live without him, it will be hard of course, but you have to do it :) Let him see your fun side.. don't go and show him no.. do it indireclty.. like show up in random places where he goes "by accident' .. act as if you don't think about him anymore..have fun, enjoy .. go out with your friends, he ll soon start missing you again :) Trust me , if he ever really actually loved you , he ll come back!

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