Ladies, what is it that truly peaks interest (or doesn't) when getting to know someone?

What type of actions or moves do you ladies feel are appropriate when meeting new guys? Which moves do you feel are too aggressive or not aggressive enough? This goes for any scenario. (text, over the phone, or in-person)

I think this would be helpful for guys with a low success rate or not having much luck dating women and trying to get back into scene.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I like when a guy is genuine and a gentleman. I really hate when they come off as aggressive and very pushy. I like continual conversation, both in person and over phone/text. I like when a guy makes a consistency of talking to me and getting to know me.

    Red flags for me are when guys start touching on a first or second date. I prefer guys don't do the arm around my back or kisses or whatnot on a first date. I rather just hug after a first date because it shows he has some interest but is respectful. I also hate when the conversation of sex comes up. I think a guy should let a girl handle that. Yes, I want him to make the move but I will subconsciously drop subtle hints to show that I am ready in my own time. I also hate when a guy offers to go to a bar as a date. That just gives me the hint that he either frequents bars (I don't) or he is trying to get me drunk.

    Honestly, just be yourself. Just hang out as friends, don't expect it to be a date. You are much more genuine that way and you don't feel like you need to gauge her interest in you. Rather, be respectful and don't come off as aggressive. I think girls would be more interested and in-tuned, I know I would be :)

    Oh and ps, do NOT take your cell phone out during a date. I saw the best photo where a guy said he didn't know what kind of phone she had after the second date. How amazing would that be!

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What Girls Said 7

  • I feel that when a guy flirts he is coming too aggressive

    A guy who doesn't flirt and keeps the conversation is being appropriate ,and at the same time

    Making it clear that he is interested

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    • I'll be honest, when us guys do flirt, we sometimes do come off a bit too much.

  • Of course there are certain things that are a plain no-no for me like physically forcing me to do anything or calling me names, etc or just being plain douchie. However, when talking about the general stuff, it really depends who it is coming from. If I am not interested, there is nothing he can do to catch my interest and when I am interested then he has to be a jerk or douche to turn me off.

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  • One thing and one thing only. Do they like Batman? If they like Batman, I am interested. If they don't like Batman, I'm just like...we can't even be friends.

    Sorry that doesn't help much. But maybe it will with girls who like Batman. Try talking to them about Batman.

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    • Haha. Funny way of putting it but I do know what you mean. It's important to find what you have in common and what you don't. If there is a disagreement on something on major interest like Batman, it will raise the almighty red flag. Also, whoever doesn't like Batman, has some serious issues. He's badass.

  • It depends on the girl. Most girls like romantic comedies over anything, and it's very rare they would like action movies. Why romantic comedies? Well, because they want to give hints to their partners is why. A action film won't be too much of a hint to the guy unless there is something that he will be interested in.

    My advice: Get to know your woman better outside the bedroom.

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  • I'm a total sucker for genuine-ness. When people are faking some personality trait, they're inviting incompatibility, which is just plain frustrating for me. I don't want to wade through a swamp only to find out there's crocodiles in it. Be who you are and either you'll find someone that can work well with that, or you won't. You shouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone that can't work with you in your natural state.

    I'm also a sucker for the ability to introspect (honestly) and courage. Specifically the kind of courage it takes to stand up for something against people you care about. I suppose it could be considered ethics or a personal code.

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  • Playfulness pulls me in. Intelligent/witty playfulness especially.

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  • Too agressive would be not picking up on my signals, like if you are actually really interested and I am onky slightly interested. Not agressive enough is if I am flirting and you are not responding to it and making me do all the work, for example if I give you a compliment give me one back, don't just say ''thanks''

    Only*

    Acting* ( instead of''actually'')

    It's really hard to go back and correct things on this tablet I'm on><

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    • This doesn't make sense imo. I don't think either of those scenarios you've mentioned would make a guy too aggressive or not aggressive; instead I think it makes him very poor at taking hints... OR it means your hints aren't as clear ad you believe they are.

    • I think I understand what your coming from. Just remember we aren't mind readers, if the signal is too subtle or unclear, we won't pick it up. Sometimes a much needed gesture or saying something bluntly is theonly way that we'll grasp what your trying to get across.

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