Would I appear bad if I were to ask this?

My boyfriend recently broke up with me. However we have spoken twice on the phone, and he keeps telling me that he loves me very much. I originally wanted an honest answer from him thinking that this was a cop out excuse. But we were friends for a year and half before we got together, and I trust him when he says he needs alone time. He's unemployed and needs to figure out what he wants to do in his life. However, when we spoke on the phone he kept saying how I'm the greatest girl a guy could ask for, that he loves me very much, he wants me in his life, and if it's meant to be it's meant to be. I told him not to say those things because it gives me false hope. It makes me think that he sees himself getting back together with me when he gets his life together. I've decided that I do want to stay friends with him because he is my best wine and book and TV buddy. I find myself at work wanting to call him and tell him this wine story, but I couldn't. I'm not saying I want to wait for him, but I know that I'm not going to start seeing anyone else. I generally am only attracted to people I am already friends with or know in some way. But my question is this- I do want closure. So would I appear like desperate girl trying to get back with him, if when I see him I ask and tell him. That "by saying you love me very much, and ignoring when I say to stop saying it because that gives me hope. Also by saying that we'll get through this, and if it's meant to be it will be, it just confuses me. So I want you to honesty tell me if you ever see yourself getting back together with me?" Would that be a negative, desperate, or bad association with me? Thanks


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What Guys Said 1

  • Your need for him is much greater than his need for you. You said you were not going to wait around for him then immediately said that you are not going to see someone else. Then one way or another you are waiting around for him. Continuing to push him while he is not that into you will only drive him away. Give him a break (some alone time) and see if things change after he has had the solitary time he is looking for.

    • Thank you for your advice. It makes a lot of sense I just want to clarify that I didn't mean I'm not going to try to date. However, I don't date random guys, and all my guy buds and coworkers are all engaged or seeing someone. So I was just saying that I happen to know nothing will happen for quite some time

    • Sorry that nobody else contributed any ideas to help you out. Best of luck.

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