Does this mean he's not ready to commit in general or commit to me?

we were serious for almost 2 years. seemed like we were headed towards engagement. we looked at houses, went to church together, and we talked about our future. after one of our first big fights a few months ago he didn't break up with me but really I could tell he was really wondering if we should. it was a fight about him cancelling dinner plans with my parents to help our church with something. I over reacted and he got mad at me. he was mad and stayed mad. I gave him space and he barely talked to me for like a week. finally I couldn't take it anymore and asked him what we were doing. he said we should just be friends. this was shocking to me I never thought we'd breakup. I was crushed, but we broke up. throughout the breakup I couldn't help but call and text him just asking why and what happened. I gave him space again for a couple months this time and finally told him if he didn't want me to move on he needed to tell me. he told me he wanted to start seeing me again and see what happens. so we went out for the last 3 weekends. it was great and the last time I saw him we had a big discussion about everything. seemed to be back to the way we had always been. so I asked him if we were back together. he told me he still want to think about it because he knows if we get back together I'll be the last girl he'll date and we will get married. I told him if he wants to see other girls or thinks he can do better than do it, I'll never talk to him again. he said he isn't going to look for another girlfriend or see anyone he just needs to time to think. he's never been a shady guy and he is honest so I have taken his word. its been almost a week and he's barely talked to me and I've only texted him like twice. so I'm now wondering if he just is tired of having a girlfriend, or he really has to think about if I'm the right one for him. he told me he has loved me the whole time we were together so I'm just confused about what he has to think about. I told him I will wait for him but I can't promise I'll be here when he's done thinking 3 months, 6 months a year from now. he said again he just needed to think. so guys what the heck? is love like this, do guys get scared even if they love a woman? do they doubt this much? is this normal for people who will get married? ahhh so much to think about I just don't know what I should do. I don't want to be a fool, but I love him and I don't want to give up if this is just one of those rough patches...any input is greatly appreciated. my friends all tell me we will be fine but I have all these mixed feelings because of the mixed signals he's giving me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well without knowing him, It sounds like he really is just thinking things over. He's basically said that if he got back together with you, he'd want to spend the rest of his life with you, so that is a BIG decision to make. I think you've just got to let him decide, but maybe help remind him of why it's so good to date you ;)

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What Guys Said 2

  • It must be his willingness to commit to you.

    If you are really patient, it might turn into your favor.

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  • Sounds like you blew it.

    Some people never forgive.

    You sound very controlling and the belief in god is a problem for some people who don't believe.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Guys sometimes need time to think. They really appreciate it when then can get that from a girl. I would say give it time. Wait for him to make a decision. He seems like all he needs to do is to have some time for him before he's ready to be with you. He said he would marry you so I'd wait. Good luck!

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