My boyfriend of 8 months is very honest with me. This girl he dated/hooked up with in the summer, had a lot of fun with, three years ago comes into town periodically. She Facebooked him and said she is coming into town and that she wants to meet up platonically because she is in a relationship. (It never worked out between them because of the distance.) He said that he wants to meet up with her as friends. He said he would not feel comfortable inviting me. I think this is not appropriate. It is not that I do not trust him. I just do not think a guy should meet up with a girl he hooked up with and hung out with 3 summers ago when he in a serious relationship, especially because he does not want to invite me along. I have never dated a guy that wants to meet up with exes except for one that cheated on me. I am afraid this colors my view; however, I know friends and family with whom I share values would not accept their significant other meeting up with an ex, so I know I am not being crazy. He and I just do not see eye to eye. He said that he feels I am preventing him from having meaningful platonic relationships from women that he has made friends with in the past. I do not want something like this to end our relationship but I do not think I can ever accept this. *Note: he has already been found inappropriately g-chatting with an ex who he said was a harmless and a platonic relationship. He ended contact with this ex but now he wants to see another. Please help me. I want to be open and understanding but this is making me really sick to my stomach and I need objective advice. Thank you.
Most Helpful Guy
Objectively, there's nothing wrong with a guy meeting an ex. But your boyfriend isn't in the most objective situation, as he's already broken your trust by chatting inappropriately with an ex. (I'm assuming you're being honest in describing the situation, and not just calling it inappropriate because you didn't like it) I also wonder how you can say he was "found out" doing this and yet you'd still describe him as being "very honest" with you. That doesn't seem consistent.
Basically, you're not preventing him from having platonic friends - he is. He already proved he couldn't have a platonic friend, without letting the texts get inappropriate.
You may just have found a guy who doesn't know how to be a platonic friend to a girl. There are a few like that. The bad news for you, is that such men don't let their partners concerns ever stop them from flirting around with other girls.
If a guy treats his girlfriends *valid* concerns with contempt, it should trigger warning signs all over the place.0