Getting back in touch with a girl?

So, I was talking to this girl about 6 months ago and we spent some time together and talked a lot and became really close and basically acted like a couple. I felt there were def feelings there. This went on for several months. Then, she kinda stopped talking to me. I guess she could've taken it as I stopped talking to her because I was kind of playing hard to get, taking awhile to respond, not responding, making her chase me , acting like I was busy, etc. Because I didint want to seem clingy, which after all unattractive to girls and I was trying to make up for the few incidences I kind of did seem that way. So, I guess why she stopped talking to me is because I kinda backed away or took too long

To move. But thing is I didint know where I stood or what she wanted. She acted like she wanted a relationship with me but at the sametime be single and that kind of bothered me. And there was also the possibility she was dating other guys at the sametime and it seemed so. So, anyhow I've been meeting other girls since her but I'm starting to realize I really kind of miss her. I def wanted a relationship with this girl, just didint feel like I could pop the question at that moment. So, what should I do now? Message her on Facebook and just say hey? Like I still really like this girl, but at the very least I just want to talk to her again or be friends again. But I don't want to be like I miss you and all that needy bullcrap, even though I do. If the reason was that I moved to slow, do you think this girl is going to be happy me making an initiative to talk to her again or is she going to be annoyed as she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? So, girls if you move on from a guy where you didint feel it was going anywhere, but your wrong, how do respond if he gets back in touch down the road? Do you treat them like an ex or are you happy they are getting back in touch? She obviously liked me but perhaps she got annoyed feeling it wasn't going anywhere? Would she still be annoyed with me now and not want to talk to me? Ugh, I really miss her, but I'm really dragging my feet trying to get back in touch with her. I don't want to act clingy or basically be ignored by her if I do. Or her annoyed by me. If that's the case, I'd rather cut my losses and not contact her.
So another question is there ever a limit for the amount of time you have to get back in touch. If it was just a misunderstanding or a fling that fissled out, I mean obviously I'm not going to be the first thing on their mind, but chances are will they be receptive of trying to talk to them or will

They treat you as a stranger and basically act like why are you talking to me? What do you want? I'm afraid of that.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say first acknowledge what occurred between you two.

    Girls like that your at least willing to discuss the "elephant" in the room so to speak

    And that's always the hard part...and it's the part that will bring you closer as friends...cause people don't want fake friends, to where they can't talk to if there's a genuine concern...

    If you miss her like you say, and you know where the problem lies you have to be strong and address it..that will show her that you really care about her and her concerns.. And that's how you can start on the road of becoming friends again and everything else should follow eventually, but that's up to

    The both of you. Anyway good luck hopes this kinda helps you.

    Keep us updated, I would love to hear how Ur story turns out :-).

    • But its been a long time. I was thinking starting fresh, forgeting the past and see where it goes. I'm never a fake friend just have trouble communicating stuff sometimes, especially if I really like someone. Sometimes its the girl making it hard to speak to her in that she is confusing or sometimes it me and I just don't want to act clingy or desperate breaking down to somebody that I desperately like them.

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    • Ok, I understand, you assumed in order to tame her it needed to be done. Well cause I'm sure she playeda few games herself..i know the drill, I just don't know why after all the hard work and effort that people don't figure out what they want and admitt to it... Sense I've been apart of this site I never met a bunch of people to run away from there crush, or love, or romantic intrest. It just sucks and all so confusing..and it sucks badly. :-\. I just wish I could run into someone like myself at times

    • For me its just fear. When I see the first sign of danger or disinterest, I tend to bail. I really like that person and the more I like them, the more it will hurt if they will reject me. I know, I gotta stop this and I will and I want to stop this. Because I'm just assuming they don't want a relationship or aren't interested. But, it felt like she played games and it threw me off to what she wanted. But I mean I'm not one of those people trying to avoid a relationship or commitment.

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What Girls Said 3

  • i can tell that you do wish to get back in touch with her. to be honest, girls hate games and sometimes we can't tell at all if your playing hard to get. it can feel like your ignoring us on purpose and want nothing to do with us and lost interest. If you still like her, just try to be friends again and randomly bring out to hang out one day and go see a movie or something. I think she would be happy to hear from you but also but questioning if you will do it to her again. Prove her wrong and get her back!

    Good luck & post up the update! I really hope that it works out for you both and I gotta say, lucky girl!

    • when you say that you acted like a couple: have you guys done anything physical like cuddling/tickling/holding hands or any of that stuff?

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    • that's not a bad thing at all! just make sure that you don't overdo it lol how the hell are you single?!?! lol you have all the qualities that every girl is looking for a guy! being shy can be an advantage and also a disadvantage. but you have to least try to break out of your shell sooner or later. Well to be honest, I wouldn't blame them from what you have been telling me of yourself! lol

    • Lol trying to figure that out. Maybe still trying break out of my shell more lol. Its a big scary world out there! Lol jk but for real.

  • wow, do we know each other, because this is exactly happening to me and the guy I'm dating. Let me answer this short.. If she likes you she will appricate you taking contact with he again, but if wanted to get serious with you and you blew her off than I think you should move on, because you wasn't ready when she was ready. . why do you expect she is ready for you now?

    • I don't expect her too . Just wanna start fresh and see where it goes. If it leads to something, great. If it leads to friendship, great too. I was ready, just failed to communicate and possible misunderstood what she wanted.

  • just casually start talking to her again.

    • How do I look not suspicious trying to contact her again? Like I'm trying to get seconds or something? I'm not, I actually did like her.

What Guys Said 1

  • As you get to be older and wiser you begin to realize the mind games we play on ourselves.

    We invent "reasons" for our bad decisions in order to save our ego's from suffering.

    Like, "I'd rather cut my losses and not contact her" really means you'd rather not face the risk of embarrassment or rejection over the possibility that you two might hook up.

    Let's imagine that you DO re-connect with her in an effort to escalate the relationship again and she decides you're disgusting and a waste of her time.

    Where would that leave you? Pretty much where you are now except without any regrets and "what if" fantasies. Plus you have some great experience under your belt. You've chosen to make your move at the risk of embarrassment and it didn't work out... and you're left feeling kinda proud of yourself.

    Taking action ALWAYS builds confidence and self assurance.

    If your action turns out to be a mistake then you move forward having learned something new and feeling a little more prepared for next time.

    If your action turns into something good then you move forward feeling proud of yourself and feeling a little more prepared for the next situation.

    And what happens when you choose to do nothing?

    You feel weakened with regret, worry, frustration, and a slight erosion of self confidence.

    * When you DO NOTHING your confidence weakens. *

    * And when you TAKE ACTION your confidence strengthens. *


    It doesn't matter if she's not into you. That's for her to worry about. What you should be focused on is BEING TRUE TO YOU, AS A MAN. Following your passions is what will leave you feeling whole and happy, even if the women you want don't return the interest.


    Getting the girl isn't about "talking it out" or "defining the relationship."

    Instead it's about escalation and taking action. It's not what she thinks of you, it's how she FEELS when with you.

    So reignite her interest by becoming that interesting fun guy she remembers. And after a few "dates" (don't call them dates) make your move and kiss that girl. Spike her energy, make her laugh, then "become overwhelmed" with the need to kiss her and kiss her.

    Text her up, or phone her up and say, "Hey, I was thinking about you the other day and I remembered how fun you were to hang out with. I miss that. Have dinner with me this week and let's get caught up!"

    Pick her up, take her somewhere that's fun to eat, and have fun together.

    If the vibe is going well, then do it again the next week, except make it a home-made dinner at your place, where you both make the food together. Line up a movie to watch (still at home) afterward, with some wine, and make a night of it.

    Have fun, and if you're both having fun, kiss her mid-date.

    Escalate, don't wait.

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link

    • I know but its easier said than done. My goal right now is not a relationship or hooking up. I just want to talk to her again and become friends, feel it out and go from there. Because if you all of a sudden come back around and aggressively go after her, then it seems like your in a low spot and just trying to get laid. I'm not trying to do that, I actually liked her and probably still do.

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    • Feelings aren't logical, they don't require your rationality. But you're right, you should take a step back and have an awareness within yourself of what you WANT and where you want a relationship to go. But don't waste any time explaining your feelings to her until you've been dating awhile.

      Surely you know if you're attracted to a girl or not, so why waste time trying to rationalize it?

      Being rational = good thing.

      Rationalizing = bad thing.

      Date this girl and see where it goes :)

    • Its not explaining or rationalizing feelings, you can't really do that. But understanding the feelings to attach an rational explaination along with them. This is for myself so I know where I want to go with it and tell her what I want and where she stands with me. Like you said escalate actions. But I believe you do have to talk it out and communicate a little. But there def be too much talking it out because that ignores taking action.

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