i broke up with my ex almost a year ago, and it was a very traumatic experience. I was in love with him, but we were doing long distance that I felt started to fall apart because he became more preoccupied with gaming, and I just didn't feel secure with it. after a few fights, he said that he still wanted to be with me, but that he was really busy and he wanted me to be understanding of that, and to wait until I got back home to start things back up. I said fine, but I'm not staying around to be stood up again. he tells me he goes pro for gaming and I tell him I'm happy for him, and then a week and a half goes by, no contact. I text him saying we haven't spoken in a while and asked if he was alright, and he said he was fine and working on exams and with his team. I tell him when I'm going to be home and he says he's working, and by that time, I'm done with things because it seemed like it just went downhill anyway. he says happy anniversary to me when I drive 2 hours to come home, and I ask if we could talk. he asks if something wrong, and I asked him back, and he said he was fine. the next day, I dumped him because I assumed it was over and I was sick of trying to put everything back together. he said he was so busy and wasn't sleeping and I said you didn't even try to tell me or say anything, so he said fine if that's what makes you happy then OK. and we were done. it crushed me. because he unfriended me from everything and avoided me at all costs the whole summer I was in town, I felt as if I had done something wrong to him, and tried to rectify the situation, but he just pushed further away and ignored me as if I didn't exist. I really loved him and would have done anything for him, I just hated that it ended that way and he didn't even seem to care.
after a couple of months, I tried seeing other guys, and started sleeping around some just to feel wanted again, but I always felt bad for doing so and empty because I wanted someone to LOVE, and not to have sex with. the guys I tried potentially dating seem to like me back, but either things fizzle out or they go for another girl. there are a few guys I wouldn't mind dating, but the times I have tried, the guys are wonderful and give me what I need and MORE than what my ex could've, but I just run away each time because that experience just haunts me. like, I wish it was my ex, almost. even if they're way better. everything always ties back into my ex- I won't do long distance because of him, I won't date gamers, I don't go all out for a guy because it blew up in my face last time, I take things super slow and be aloof so I won't get hurt...
what gives? I'd really would like some advice on this.
Most Helpful Guy
You shoudn't have broken up with him in the first place. The reason why he ignored you was probably because he felt the same way about you as you did him. He probably really was busy and you should have just waited things out and tell him that things were really stressful on you because of the long distance and you should have asked him to try a little harder to spend time with you and not break up with him.
Yes, you still do love your ex but your still so hung up over him that it affects your other dating possibilities. You have what excess emotional baggage. Stop comparing. guys hate that and if someone genuinely takes care of you and likes you, what's there to be afraid of?!0
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