How/when to ask an ex back out?

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. Post links to your questions and I'll be sure to return the favor. My ex girlfriend who I dated for 2 years recently broke up with her new boyfriend of 4 months. We remained friends after we broke up and even during her new relationship but it was a very weak connection as I absolutely hated her new boyfriend. Well she dumped him last week, she'd been talking to me about it for a while, about how miserable she was, about how she wasn't getting anything out of it anymore. So my hopes of us getting back together shot up when she told me she'd ended it. Now I'm just waiting for the right time to talk to her about how I feel. We used to be so close and our relationship, up until the end, was amazing. Honestly, I'm still very much in love with her, and though she says she still cares about me, she's been very distant lately. She'll text me out of the blue, sometimes at night when she can't sleep, but I can't seem to get her alone for very long; she's always busy with one of her/my friends or her roommate. I asked her if we could talk just me and her the other day to which she replied, "what about?" I feel like she knows I want to talk about us and is reluctant to discuss it. What should I do? Should I just get everything out there? Should I wait till I think she feels ready? My fear in waiting is that she'll find someone new as she has a long line of guys interested in her. I know some people will advise me to let her go, but I can't. I've had other relationships, I've been with other girls, but this feels completely different. She's the one and I don't want to lose her again.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're going to have to take your chances and tell her, otherwise you'll spend lots of time wondering what would've happened if you had! Love, to me, is often a losing game but you have to risk rejection if you honestly believe that she's The One. I hope it turns out in your favor!

    • I want to take that chance, but she's avoiding me. Short replies to texts, only hangs out with me with other friends, she actually went to a party at the house of the guy she just dumped. I didn't go of course. Last week the signs were so positive that we could back together. This week they're sh*t again. I asked her yesterday if we could talk, just me and her, but she avoided answering the question. Now I'm paranoid she's into one of my good friends as well. This girl is killing me lol

    • Show All
    • Haha try not to crack! And if she picks any of those other guys, it'll be her loss. What's supposed to be will always find its way. Ya never know maybe she has to kiss a few frogs before she realizes who her prince is. IF it's meant to be. For now try to stay away and see what unravels.

    • Part of me still believes it's meant to be, that all the pain and distance between us had to happen that we might grow from it. The other part of me wants to get as far away from this girl as possible, but that's tricky when she lives a couple floors below you in the same dorm building and shares the same friend group. I'll try talking to her again, if nothing comes of it I'll disappear for a while. Maybe when I'm completely gone, out of state, new phone, the works, she'll realize.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Take a chance in talking to her, I have been that girl that the guy never said anything and I had wished he did. I moved on and met someone else, if I had known he still loved me I would have tried to make our relationship work. Too much time went by and during the time he stayed silent I spent all my time focusing on how to get over him, continued dating and then I met someone who I like very much and I just could not see my going back to him because this new guy and I get along great.

    • I wrote her a letter explaining everything a while ago, but I never sent it because I didn't want her to feel like I was interfering with her relationship. Now that she's single I'm considering sending it since its hard to get a hold of her these days. She used to text me semi-regularly before the breakup but the last couple weeks it feels like she's avoiding me, like she knows I want to ask her back out. She knows that I still love her, but I'm afraid she doesn't love me back anymore.

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't wait till she's ready. Another man might have get her interested if you wait until then. Set up a date with her. Spend time talking with her, and it will work wonders.


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