Don't feel like myself since the breakup. Pls help!

It has been almost 8 months since my ex left me, and aside from a couple of good days, a lot of the days I feel like my heart is broken and I barely feel like smiling. I really need some advice so I can feel like myself again. I used to feel happy from inside before all of this happenned.

My ex and I were friends, and he really chased me hard for weeks. I eventually gave him a chance, and after a few months, really started caring about him a lot. Close to a year, he just ended it. He said he was only 23, and could not handle the responsibility or commitment of a serious relationship right now. I had to see him everyday and work with him on school projects ever since. We also have a lot of mutual friends. He clearly loved me a lot for months after the breakup because he told me. Because I had to go through the breakup in front of him, I asked him way too many times to come back, and cried. So eventually, I ruined "us" because he got annoyed, and said that I made things too complicated, and he would never date me again :(

No other guy since the breakup has really had a crush on me. I have met no one interesting. I feel like my ex and I ruined something that people look hard to find. But because of the emotional breakup, we will never end up as happy as we used to be.He is very happy nowdays doing his own thing (or at least seems like it).

I can't handle the sunken feeling in my heart. I feel like I will never find another boy I had as much in common with and cared the way I did for him. How do I get over such a strong sad emotion? Do we ever have a chance? It has been 8 months, but I still feel so broken and sometimes sick to my stomach. Hanging out with our "mutual" friends doesn't help either. I feel like I need to cut everything related to him out of my life before I can heal. I guess school will be done in 2 months, after which I don't see him again.

Anyway, please help me through this heartbreak. Anyone else having a hard time forgetting an ex? Why? Thanks for you answers :)


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What Guys Said 2

  • Your problem is that you're depending on someone else for happiness. What a sad life yours must be to find nothing to smile about except this one guy. Relationships are meant to compliment our lives - not to consume them. Yes, you'll miss him. Yes, you'll miss your time spent with him. A break-up is much like a death. A person you once cared for and shared your life with is now "gone". It's normal to mourn a break-up or a death, of course but you mustn't sink into a depression for months on end.

    You must change how you view the break-up. Instead of thinking about him and longing for things to be like they were you must accept what happened. Accept that he's not ready for a relationship and understand how he feels. Distract yourself and keep moving. In time, he'll change his mind or, if he doesn't, there are 3.5 billion other guys in this world - go find one.

    • Thank you! I needed to hear exactly what you said! Its just an all-consuming feeling because I feel like we ended such a beautiful thing. And I feel so powerless that I can't rebuild that strong connection ever again. But all I can do is remove myself from the situation and move on. Thanks.

    • Good luck!

  • I can't tell you how much I know how your feeling. A breakup is possibly the worst thing that I have experienced and I personally never want to go through it again. I liked you loved my ex very much she as like the air I breathed. I would have done anything for her. But for an unknown reason we broke up. It's been 6 months and tbh I am still not over it.

    I just want to forget her and live my life. You need to focus on your self and perhaps work towards something eg. Marathon. You need to take that energy and put it into something else.

    I feel your pain.


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