Please answer: Will my boyfriend come back?

I just recently lost who I thought to be was the love of my life about a month and a half ago. We started dating our junior year of high school & I was his first girlfriend, he was my 2nd boyfriend & my first serious relationship. We dated for almost 4 years (May 2009-February 2013), & along the way encountered some bumps along the road just like any normal relationship. We never cheated on each other or anything like that. But his reasoning for breaking up with me is that he needs to work on himself as a person, he doesn't want a girlfriend right now, we haven't grown together, all those standard lines. He has also said maybe we can be friends in the future... But that isn't what I want. I want HIM. And yet, I want him to be happy. Do you think he'll be back?
I forgot something very important, he broke up with me shortly after he turned 21. I've already had two friends tell me that, THAT is the exact reason why he broke things off. Because he is now 21. I personally don't want to believe that, and I would love to give him more moral credit than that, but I don't think like a man so men, please help me out!


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  • I know how you feel but I think its because he is young. He wants to date more. Drink with his friends not have to worry about you. He wants to mature thinking branching out will help him become a man. Just be his friend if you can and do what makes you happy. If you meet other guys but still feel for him then wait and see if he realized his mistake. Keep in his life life if you can but do not put all your eggs in one basket.


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What Guys Said 3

  • sadly I don't think you guys are getting back together he probably just got bored with the relationship because you would be the only girl he ever did stuff with so maybe he just wants some different expiriences with different girls and now that he can go on the bar scene thts what he's doin lookin for sex that is I would say move on its would be the healthiest and best thing to do

  • I understand your situation as I'm in a similar boat, only in my case I am the guy. Me and my high school sweetheart broke up half a year ago after dating our last 2 years of high school and attending the same high school. I broke things off because I had some depression issues to work on, how could I be happy with her if I couldn't be happy in general, that sort of thing. A while after we broke up initially, I thought I'd explore other dating options as she was my first girlfriend and was someone I could picture myself ending up with, marrying, starting a family, that kind of thing. Part of me had that stupid masculine competitive desire to bed as many women as possible, but as I met girls over summer and in college, I realized none of them compared to her. They were attractive sure, but none of them struck me as unique or individual in any way. My ex, on the other hand, is very different than other girls though I don't know how to explain it. We wound up getting back together in college unofficially, no Facebook statuses or anything like that, but then she met some older guy at a party. I didn't go because honestly I hate most college parties, so many goddamn douche bags and bros hitting on any and every chick just trying to score. So this guy asks her out and since we weren't official she breaks things off with me and starts dating him. Killed me, sent me into my worst depression spiral yet. We remained friends, which hurt even worse, but we became very distant. But I got through it, learned a lot from it, and came out better for it. Now they've broken up and she is single again, so I'm waiting for the right time to talk to her and lay everything out, asking her to take me back.

    Sorry for the long backstory but hopefully it provided some context. I don't know your ex, but I understand his mentality. He's a guy whose only been with one girl, you. Part of him has that masculine mentality of wanting to bed a lot of women. That's where the 21 thing comes in. Since he can go to bars now, he thinks he can score easier. Like I said, I don't know your ex, but there's a chance, a good chance, that if what you guys had was geniune and special and it sounds like it was, he'll realize that the bar tramps and one-night-stands just don't compare to you. It might take some time, I wouldn't advise holding on waiting for him, but if he's worth your time and attention, he'll realize his mistake. Best of luck. You'll get through this, just give yourself some time.

    • Your backstory helped a lot, thank you. It hurts to know that I wasn't enough for him. How did your ex handle the breakup at first?

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    • Actually I wrote her a letter a while ago explaining everything about how I felt. I never sent it as she was still dating this guy at the time. Now that she's single I'm contemplating sending it love is a tricky thing. I thought if you just found the right person everything would fall into place. I don't know part of me knows I should just move on and accept that we've drifted apart but most of me wants to keep fighting for her. If your guy does come around I hope you give him that chance maybe

    • If I were you, I'd send the letter & then let her make the next move. And I thought the same exact thing, that love would just fall into place & stay there! My ex & I were so in love, he was my best friend, we did everything together. Then from one day to the next he just stopped having fun with me :/ My mom always told me that love is work, that you have to fight for it & try to keep it alive. I didn't want to believe her but now I do. It's easy to fall in love but it ain't easy to stay in love.

  • hmm, your friends might have a point. I think he wanted to move on and date other people. 4 years at a young age is a pretty long time. sorry.


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