Stuck in a together-but-not-together kind of relationship. What do I do?

Right now, I'm in a somewhat complicated relationship with this girl. We've been "together" for 3mos, and some might say that it's too early to say something like I love her, but I do. And I know she feels the same way towards me. We keep our "relationship" a secret, but it's like we are together and that we've already had sex a couple of times. I've already asked her a couple of times if there is any chance at all that we'll be officially be together. She said that there is and she's simply waiting for some signs. Well, I didn't really like that idea since it feels like she's leaving it up for some cosmic signs from the heaven above if we should ever be together.

Anyway, that's not really the issue. She's been texting and seeing her ex-boyfriend from a year ago. Honestly, I feel insecure about it. She do tell me that they still text each other and whenever they're going to hang-out together. I wouldn't mind it at all if only I have the security of a relationship. I mean, right now, it feels like it's all in a matter of time when they get back together and that all I am is just a stand-in for her. Me and my ex-gf are best friends. There are times when I even hang-out with my ex, but I do bring her along. So I do understand if she just wants to be friends with him. I've already talked to her about my concerns. And we ended up having a couple of fights because of it. She tells me that I don't understand her, I do. On the contrary, it feels like she's the one who doesn't understand me. I've explained to her my stand, and it seems like she only took it as an attack towards her. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm starting to want to just give up and walk-away, but I don't want to just give up when it's all just me who is being insecure. What do you think?
Hmm, I don't think she wants a friends with benefits type of relationship since I'm her first, and I forgot to mention that we have a 10-year age gap. Although, I also do think that she's only up for the fun.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that she isn't on your level yet. What I mean by that is that you are far more mature for her and you are ready to get serious and settle down while at the same time, she's not. You should find someone that want what you do. She may love you but evidentally, she's not inlove with you. It might be a little hard at first to find somone else, but when you find someone that want what you do, then it will be a breeze.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • It seems like she's only up for a friend with benefits with you, and nothing more than that. She still have feelings for her ex.

    It would be best if you move on from her if you're looking for something serious.


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