Insecure, missing her like crazy, how to fix?

Long story but basically my girlfriend of four months and I spoke a week ago about how I was moving too fast and how I need to feel wanted from her, I'm not happy only seeing her a few times a week for a couple hrs at a time. I want her to start reaching out and making first moves.

She's now been texting and calling me everyday since we talked as I told her I'd like to feel connected w her during the week since we don't get together often

I miss her like crazy and I love that she's independent and awesome, but should I really back off to see if she comes to me? How do I recover from being needy and wearing my heart on my sleeve? Honesty etc are great but I feel I've been too mushy and I'm not sure how to be the cool, confident and funny guy I was when I first met her and how to stop analyilzing everything.

How do I chill? Is it too late? Help!

This is a really sore spot for me so please only constructive advice. Thanks for understanding


Most Helpful Guy

  • Posting the same answer that I placed someone else's question.

    When you put so much time and effort into someone you end up developing more feelings than you think.

    Reinstate/continue no contact. But you have to use it what it's meant for. To give you space to heal and reinvent yourself. So erase everything about her (texts, phone #'s, and yes Facebook). Its only going to hurt you more to keep thinking about her or wanting to know what she's doing in her current relationship. Yes at first no contact hurts at first, but you have to accept the reality of things. take the time now to better yourself. Learn from your mistakes, pick up new hobbies, get out with friends that are supporting you. If she decides to come back you should be a different person. Someone wjo has grown and will want to work things out. If she rebounds and see that you're the same (ex. Needy,clingy,beta) then she will most likely do it again.

    the girl I was with was very outgoing and eventually cheated. I only accepted the mistakes I did on my part during the relationship during the first few days of no contact and then I started realizing how much time and energy I wasted on this person who I thought cared about me. She did me wrong, but I couldn't accept seeing her go like that. I was putting her on a pedestal when I shouldn't have.

    I been managing no contact but eventually I started googling stuff like "how to get ex back" which eventually led me to pick up artist forum sites. At first I was skeptical because I knew those sites were for trying to hook up with chicks and I'm not someone who who will degrade myself like that. Over time xbox & netflixs wasn't cutting it for me anymore and it's not like I had anything to lose. So I looked up a few threads and I noticed they had a lot of self improvement material. like building confidence, understanding body language, building your social circle, and how to deal with rejection. These are all the things these PUA sites want you to learn first before you play the game their way, but All the other stuff like what cheesy pick up lines to use and what to once you get her # etc are the less of my worries right now. I'm only looking at self improving materials to better myself. Not to start going out to bars and hooking up. So far it's all been interesting what I'm learning about myself and what I need to improve on.

    the information I'm learning is helping me move on. Becoming a better man than I was 3 Weeks ago, and at this point I'm asking myself do I really want this one person I cared about back in my life? I've become more social, picked up on my cooking skills, and now even host dinner gatherings with friends at my apartment. I recommend you checkout some of the PUA selfimproving materials.

    So focus on you in the meantime and then ask yourself Weeks later and see if you want this person still back in your life


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What Girls Said 3

  • I think that you should let her keep coming on to you. If she is independent, then you should let her think the same about you. Start filling up your calender with plans with someone. Wether it's just the guys or just some random girl you have been talking oto any. If she didn't make you feel wanted, then you probably weren't.

  • If you want more, you give less. This is a very true statement. You have to give to each other equally.

  • When you know the answers, tell me please,! I have the same problem but the other way around!


What Guys Said 1

  • The bad thing is that you're in your 30's and still have women control your emotions. The good thing is that you at least acknowledge your weaknesses.


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