I want to move on so badly yet at times when I see her on Facebook or in real life, I get this really sick feeling in my gut!
She broke up with me after 3 months because she was never really over her ex but throughout the relationship promised she'd never leave etc etc and then one day boom! she just drops the bomb saying she's not over her ex but respects me because I cared about her!?
Wtf is up with that? I have been in no contact with her for about a month now and will have no problem in continuing to do so but why do I still have fond memories of her? the relationship wasn't all that great! it was rocky from the beginning and she was a total controlling bitch!
even though I know all this, why do I feel this way?
Most Helpful Guy
When you put so much time and effort into someone you end up developing more feelings than you think.
Reinstate/continue no contact. But you have to use it what it's meant for. To give you space to heal and reinvent yourself. So erase everything about her (texts, phone #'s, and yes Facebook). Its only going to hurt you more to keep thinking about her or wanting to know what she's doing in her current relationship. Yes at first no contact hurts at first, but you have to accept the reality of things. She did do you wrong by dropping the bomb like that. Thake the time now to better yourself. Learn from your mistakes, pick up new hobbies, get out with friends that are supporting you. If she decides to come back you should be a different person. Someone wjo has grown and will want to work things out. If she rebounds and see that you're the same (ex. Needy,clingy,beta) then she will most likely do it again.
Currently I am in the same situation. we been in no contact for 3 Weeks now. She was very outgoing and eventually cheated. I only accepted the mistakes I did on my part during the relationship during the first few days of no contact and then I started realizing how much time and energy I wasted on this person who I thought cared about me. She did me wrong, but I couldn't accept seeing her go like that. I was putting her on a pedestal when I shouldn't have.
I been managing no contact but eventually I started googling stuff like "how to get ex back" which eventually led me to pick up artist forum sites. At first I was skeptical because I knew those sites were for trying to hook up with chicks and I'm not someone who who will degrade myself like that. Over time xbox & netflixs wasn't cutting it for me anymore and it's not like I had anything to lose. So I looked up a few threads and I noticed they had a lot of self improvement material. like building confidence, understanding body language, building your social circle, and how to deal with rejection. These are all the things these PUA sites want you to learn first before you play the game their way, but All the other stuff like what cheesy pick up lines to use and what to once you get her # etc are the less of my worries right now. I'm only looking at self improving materials to better myself. Not to start going out to bars and hooking up. So far it's all been interesting what I'm learning about myself and what I need to improve on.
the information I'm learning is helping me move on. Becoming a better man than I was 3 Weeks ago, and at this point I'm asking myself do I really want this one person I cared about back in my life? I've become more social, picked up on my cooking skills, and now even host dinner gatherings with friends at my apartment. I recommend you checkout some of the PUA selfimproving materials.
So focus on you in the meantime and then ask yourself Weeks later and see if you want this person still back in your l1