I had my ex boyfriend, son's dad of mine who stay with me ( who I thought was a good friend). Well, the other night, he came back to my place in 2 am in the morning, I never really had a problem with that before, but I've decided I need to start going bed early and get into a rountine again to better myself. Anyways, he came back to my house, and I mentioned that I would like for him to be back at my place for midnight from now on and told him why in a calm manner. I guess I said that to him right after he mentioned he was gonna be back at my place in 2 in the morning because he wanted to see him his girlfriend. He automactically got denfensive and said, what I can't see my girlfriend. I didn't mean for it to be controling, just to express I need to be on a good rountine again to better myself and mainly get up to do important @#!*% . I also told him I don't care if he wants to see his girlfriend at 2 pm in the morning and I would wait for him this one time. I basically feel I was just trying to set a boundary and asking him to acknowelege it. But, we got into a argurement and he ended up calling me ignorant, saying I was ranting and raving when I felt I clearly said in calm manner and just saying what I wanted. The other night, he came back at 2 am and I was feeling sore, @#!*% and I just wanted to just sleep. So, I realized just then and there, I don't like him coming late back to my place late when when I'm trying to learn to get on a sleeping rountine again. Anyways, I ended up kicking me out because I got so frutrated, annoyed, irritated and anxious with trying to explain this in a way I think he would understand
What do you think about this? I kicked my ex out and now feel unsure about what happened.
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It seems really odd that he stays with you when he has a girlfriend, that just blows my mind, I really don't know many girlfriends who would be okay with that, at all.
She might even be going on to him about that, let's face it a lot of girls can be very jealous about ex girlfriends and the fact that he is staying at yours? I can imagine that's driving her nuts, so she might be hassling him about this (this is all theory of course, I could be totally wrong).
I would just write it down in a letter and give it to him to read when perhaps you aren't there so he can read it without having you to react too, sometimes that's better at getting your point across then a face-to-face chat, such as the one you had, because they (as is what happened) can sometiems get messy and people end up misunderstanding each other, and it could give him some time to think about it.
You're definitely not being unreasonable, since it's your place and you need to get to sleep, it's totally unreasonable of him to think that you'd just be there waiting.
If you're fine with him staying there (as long as he's willing to follow this rule), then tell him, if you aren't, then it's probably best if he didn't stay at your place.0
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