Met a girl around the holidays, hit it off. We meshed well, had a lot of fun together. One problem is she is away at school until May, but we still texted/chatted a lot while she was back at school and I even visited. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, she gives me this whole speech about how we rushed into things, she would feel guilty if we maintained our current status of boyfriend/girlfriend as she isn't ready for a relationship; but she truly cares about me, wants us to be in a position to work down the road, and thinks I was an amazing boyfriend. She wants to take a step back and pretend we are 2 people who have known each other for 4 months, but live in separate cities, yet still interested in each other.
So currently, we still chat. I have made a point to back off, give her space, and not initiate on my end. So far, she's been the one to reach out to chat, but I can tell the interest level is waining. She barely asks about me or what I've been up to, and I have to pry her for questions to keep conversations going. More recently she told me she might consider staying in the city she is going to school for a job (originally she was planning on moving back to my city after she graduates), and was sending me job links, almost rubbing it in.
She claims she isn't letting me down easy (I flat out asked), but I don't get that vibe. I want us to work but I don't know how I should proceed because I don't know if she is just being nice or truly has interest in me still and wants us to have a shot down the road (if it works out for both of us)...
Thanks all, my head has been spinning for weeks.
I think I know her true intentions...
Most Helpful Girl
Wow, I'm sorry this is happening to you. She sounds like she is playing games. Perhaps she wasn't sure she wanted a relationship and liked attention she got from other guys? Who knows. But I think you need to really re-asses how you feel about her. Take a step back and think about whether your relationship really was that great.
Was she a good girlfriend? Did you really love her? Long distance can be hard, but its a HUGE red flag when the other person starts talking about going in a different direction (away from you), and they do not make plans with you. BIG RED FLAG!
I'm only saying this because I have experienced this, although it took 2 years for it to come to a head. Don't be me, let her go if that is truly what she wants. Find a girl who would be over the moon to have you! Trust me, we are out there! I wanted so bad to make a life with my boyfriend, but he had other plans. So he threw what we had away. Now I am basically just doing my own thing and living for myself.
Sometimes you just have to watch out for number 1. Don't let her get you down. Like I said, there are plenty of girls who would love to have a guy like you who wants to be present in the relationship and make things work. Don't settle for someone who is being flaky like she is.0