How to be supportive to unemployed boyfriend?

So my boyfriend of 3 months has been unemployed for a few weeks. He is getting really stressed and frustrated.

We are great and happy when we are together, but then as the days go by, he get in a bad mood, he's not getting any call backs, and his parents are not encouraging him...

I don't want to break up with him, I care about him, and love being with him..so I'm just wondering what I can do to support him, to where it doesn't seem annoying or do anything that will make him pull away..has anyone been in this situation?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been in this situation myself and although things are slightly better (he's finding temporary work), to a point I still am. I do not speak about it to him unless he brings it up in conversation as I know he is also uncomfortable about the situation he is in . I am not with him because of his occupation, or lack of it , so just try and remain supportive and positive whenever he mentions it. His pride is hurt right now and there will be times where his frustration may be vented at you , as you are the closest person to him right now (especially if his parents are unsupportive). You know he is stressed and frustrated so let him know that you understand this and are there for him whenever he wants to talk about it. Just remember that his bad moods are nothing to do with you and if you are happy when you are together then focus on those times. This is hopefully a temporary situation and things will improve once he finds employment . He may be feeling very insecure because of this , but just reassure him that you will be there for him no matter what and you are not going to walk away or break up with him. He is unemployed through no fault of his own and just the current economic climate. He is actively seeking work and trying his best so there is nothing much else he can do . Try not to take his bad moods personally and hopefully things will improve soon.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You just need to be there for him.

    Always pay him a compliment.

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  • Just spend quality time with him and be supportive. When you guys are together, do some fun activities to keep his mind off of him because that issue will always be in the back of his mind. Don't remind, talk or definitely DO NOT NAG about job searching unless he wants to discuss it with you. If he's actively searching and isn't a lazy bum then you should provide some positive reinforcement.

    Just keep reminding him on occasion on why you're with him other than the job situation because his pride/self-worth may be slowly chipping away since a man defines himself by his career. Sometimes, unemployed men or men in general need occasional reminders from their significant other that their job/career isn't the main reason why they're with them in the first place.

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  • The Economy is so bad, I feel where he is at. Just don't abandon him at this time in his life. Many people are in the same position w/o support. Just be there for him. He well tell you if he needs space, but try to get his mind off the negative and on the positive. We are what we feel. If we feel like crap, we get crap results, if we feel optimistic, positive results will follow in suit, and one more thing, One positive thought is more powerful than 24.678 negative thoughts. "When I was studying computer engineering in college, I hooked up two people to a machine to monitor thoughts for my project, that is what results I gathered."

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  • help him searching for a job, ask him to go for walks it helps.

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  • Understand how he feels I have been Looking for jobs for ages and have yet to land one.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Sort of when my boyfriend was looking fora second job or getting more hours. Tell him you love and support him and just help him look for jobs like monster.com. Sometimes doing nice gestures like baking cookies or spending time together is the best you can do. I'm sure he knows you care. :)

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  • I just got a job 3 weeks ago. I have managerial experience and a degree. It's hard right now. Not trying to discourage you, just letting you know to keep trying. I applied literally everywhere. Think of a place, and I most likely have an app on file. I still haven't gotten callbacks on several places. I have to drive out of town for work.

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  • I read somewhere that the key is to be supportive and assure him that you know he is capable of achieving his goal (in this case, getting a job), but not to baby him and "help" him find things unsolicited (e.g. doing job searches for him, etc.). Like you respecting his space and not getting in his business while giving him emotional support and showing how confident you are in him. :)

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  • You don't dump him he's useless

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  • Maybe him and I should start a club together cause I have been unemployed for 2 months now and struggling to find work too. My parents are no help in that area too... I can say this stay positive and willing to encourage him buy him McDs once in awhile. Then again I have mcDs on my mind I think that is what I really want. Lol. (Really want to try that new Spicy chicken on the dollar menu.) be willing to stay positive. I know it isn't easy.. I feel like I have no encouragement from my man. He tells me I don't encourage him but he isn't the one unemployed. Me scrounging around to make some cash. when I am with him I feel better. I don't like talking about work with him or anything cause it makes me feel uncomfortable but he does it any ways... But all of these people have good advice and it is really about staying supportive. Don't give up on him. :) much support to you and your man!

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