Is there anything I can do to help her?

So I have a younger sister who is homeschooled online and lives with her dad (we do not share same father) and she is always cooped up inside the little apartment he lives in with her cat. She never wants to get out and do anything. We have tried to get her to join a youth group and she had said a while back that she wanted to join gymnastics but then decided not to because she would have to participate in a group. She does not like interacting with other people at all and has absolutely no friends. It worries me to no end and her dad just gives her everything she wants. She hated going to public school and he pulled her out a couple of years ago just to please her. She did have friends then and in fact she had a best friend who came over all the time. After he pulled her out she quit talking to them all together. He unfortunately has custody of her and never tells her no. It has gotten so bad that all she wants to do is stay in his apartment 24/7. She doesn't even like coming to our mom's house anymore and even when she does, she doesn't stay for more than an hour maximum. I even offer to take her out sometimes to get a mani/pedi, or go to the skating rink, to see a movie with me, or just go shopping at the mall. She never wants to get out and go anywhere. It is worrying me and my mom has told me just to give up cause she won't ever change. She has said that she wants to be a vet when she grows up but she is not going to know how to function in the real world and she depends on her dad for everything. But he isn't goint to be around forever and he has had skin cancer in the past and it may come back. She won't wake up and face reality.


Most Helpful Girl

  • worry about your own life, she is going to school so that is good, as long as she graduates that is good, now how is she planning to be a vet? Is she planning to go to college?... Is she doing the proper work to get there? Maybe she is an animal person not a mani pedi person, does she even like you/or the family maybe she doesn't like hanging out with you guys, if so you need to regain her trust and be less judgmental more loving, then you can try inviting her out to do things start out slow, maybe go to the pet store, at a non busy time of the day.. if she really doesn't like seeing people then go for a nature walk. I can sympathize because I am the same way... whenever we have family or my brother's friends over I go for really long bike rides even if it's in the middle of the night... I am a pro at avoiding people... when I go on walks I will put my ipod in and start running when people come by or I'll even turn around and go the other direction! I work from home and I don't go to school, I do all my shopping online. I love my chihuahua she is my best friend... some people are just like this, you can't change them, as long as they have their sh*t together and hopefully paying their own bills there's nothing you can do. Your sister's only problem is that she need to become independent from her dad some day, so that should be the only thing you worry about, but if she doesn't want to hang out with people you can't change that.

    • this may sound strange but sometimes I ride along with my mom to the store just to sit in the car and people watch.. its like interacting with humans, but you are in the safety of your car... maybe try doing that with her! It is fun to add dialog to the people too... :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Simply, always be there for her.

    Take her out a lot as you used to.

    When you have friends, invite them so that they'll interact you and your sister.

    Let your sister gain new friends.

    Show her that the world outside is much, much more wonderful than the apartment she's living in.

  • Sounds like she needs to consider seeing a therapist. Sounds like she has some social anxiety or agoraphobia.


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