If your new girlfriend's ex was being inappropriate, would you want to know?

If your girlfriend of only a couple months' ex was being inappropriate, would you want to know?

My ex came over this morning to drop off our son. We split up over a year ago. He knows I'm seeing someone now. He made a comment this morning asking if I'm sure splitting up is what I want (even though it was a YEAR ago and he's the one who wanted originally wanted a divorce!). I said yes and changed the subject. Then he started calling me baby, honey, dear, etc and continued to do so even after I pointed it out several times and told him to stop. Then I was crouched down to point out something on the dryer and he crouched down beside me, put his arm around me, and put his hand on the backside of my hip. I froze and said "get your hand off my ass". He apologized over and over and said he didn't mean to.

My ex oscillates between being a total douchey and this wannabe touchy feely affectionate crap. I've already made the guy I'm seeing now aware of this pattern and assured him I absolutely do not want to get back together with my ex, no matter how long he keeps this pattern up. Seriously, I think my ex is the kind of guy who will still bring up "us" 20 years from now - not because he really misses me or something but whenever he's lonely and doesn't have a current flame.

So I don't know whether this is the kind of thing I need to tell my new boyfriend about or not. They don't know each other and have never met. I don't want to seem like I'm just trying to make him jealous or insecure or like I'm trying to make them fight or something, but I also don't want to seem like I'm hiding or concealing anything from him. (Especially because his ex was a serial cheater)

When is it something that needs to be told and when is it something I can just handle on my own and not tell him about it to avoid unnecessary drama?


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What Guys Said 1

  • As long as my new girlfriend is being faithful and committed to me, I'll just trust that what she's doing is in favor of our relationship.

    If her ex is treating her inappropriately, I'll just make sure I'll be there to hear her out when she wants to talk about it.

    Though, it's really up to you if you want to tell him.

    • Thank you. That was my initial feeling, too. I kind of felt like reporting every little thing my ex ever does would just be creating unnecessary additional drama by either pissing my new boyfriend off or making him insecure (or both). But I've also never been in this situation and don't want him getting upset I didn't tell him if it comes up sometime down the road..

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