Did I make a mistake?

So this girl I really like is currently stuck between 3 guys. An ex she met in September, a friend of the ex, and me. We've known each other for almost a year now, and have admitted to having feelings for each other. We have cute pet names for each other and have kissed once. I have helped her through some fights and arguments with other friends and have been in quite a few myself. I helped her through break ups and cheaters before. And after her last ex, she readmitted her feelings for me. I said I still feel the same and would like to get together. But now we're at a draw.

Her ex is suicidal and she had a scare when some sirens went past her house towards his direction. Since that night, she's been getting quiet and distant. Then last weekend, she says that she needs to think about a lot right now. So I said I'll stop texting and stuff for a while to give her space. But it's been 3 days, and I haven't even gotten a good morning text. She's on Spring Break, so it's not school or work since she's unemployed. She even told me to stop putting my mouth on her. So no biting, kissing her cheeks/forehead etc, or neck kisses. I've always given her those since we admitted having feelings for each other.

One of her last texts said this "I need you, and you need me. Just not in the way you think." I have no idea what she means by that, and she then said that she's also still considering us getting together over the summer. So that threw me off even more!

I've lost 2 nights of sleep now worrying about her, and haven't eaten as much. I'm getting anxious. I am insecure and beginning to think she's just using this time to not text me and get closer to her ex. I don't think she should go back to that cheating jerk and should just leave him alone. But she's still shaken up about the sirens. Last time I was with her, I tried getting another kiss, 2 days BEFORE the sirens. But she said "Not yet, sweet boy." Now it's not at all.

Did I do something to push her away? Or is she just going to her ex because she pities his suicidal feelings? Maybe I'm just over thinking it, but I am really worried about what's going to happen between us.
Today she texted me telling me she's restricting the nicknames I use with her. I can only call her the nicknames once a week. There was no warning, and it was just an "Oh by the way" kind of thing. I asked for a reason, but she said that she needs to think out the details. There was no explanation to it, just random. I'm going to ask her about it in a bit. And figure out what's going on with her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't chase after her, give her as much as space as possible. Wait for her to come to you. I feel like she's kinda playing you at the same time as all of this or she just doesn't want to hurt her suicidal ex. Don't let her play you. The whole "I need you, and you need me. Just not in the way you think." I think means you two need each other just not needing needing like in a relationship. It seems she's giving you mixed signals and she's probably having mixed feelings. Give it time, it will all work out.


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What Girls Said 2

  • It doesn't sound like you did anything, she just needs some space to work out her feelings. Wait for her to approach you. However, it sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants, and she might end up deciding she'd rather be friends with you. Just be patient and calm. Maybe you should give her an ultimatum, because it sounds like she's playing with your emotions.

  • Did I make a milkshake?


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