So I've recently gotten quite close to this guy. At the start of our getting to know each other, he told me he didn't want a relationship. It was strange to hear that, because he'd never actually HAD one before (so rule out being burned by an ex). As things progressed, we got more into each other. We haven't slept together (and I don't plan to just yet) but we connect and we have a great time. We're great together. He's sweet and sentimental and pretty much acts like my boyfriend, referring to me as 'babe' in front of girls who clearly like him... is he a scumbag waiting to happen? Does he want his cake and to eat it too? Advice! What's on your side when you tell a girl "I don't want a relationship"? Would you tell that to a girl you like?
I like him a lot, but I want to be smart enough to walk away if this is a different game of chess to him...
Most Helpful Girl
HE already told you that he doesn't want a relationship. From this point on, what ever happens is on you. You can set boundaries, or you can accept that he isn't interested in dating and make things physical if he's into the idea.
But its not fair to try and use sex, intimacy, and emotional stimulation as a means to try to force someone into a relationship because that is what you want. And yes all three things are separate.
Some people just aren't interested in relationships or monogamy. As his friend you should accept that. Everyone doesn't want the same things. Everyone doesn't have the same beliefs.
Talk to him about the situation and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you are interested in him in a romantic way. Be honest with him. Are you capable of just being friends? IF not, tell him you need a little bit of distance and tell him to stop calling you babe. Are you capable of just having a physical relationship with no attachments? IF you are then tell him that you are interested in taking things in that direction.
You have to realize that being around someone with false intentions is manipulative. Don't be that person. Respect his decision, he was honest with you, its only fair that you return the favor.1
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