I dated a man on and off for 8 years. It was only a couple of weeks each year and casual. I cared deeply for him, but he saw me as only a friend. We both dated others. We had a volatile relationship, but we were friends at the core and always there for each other. 7 years ago I met my husband and my relationship with the other man became one of pure platonic friendship. He and my husband get along really well. Recently, the ex was dumped by his girlfriend and needed a new place to live, so my husband and I offered him our spare bedroom for cheap rent, as a kindness. (He had been living with his parents again. Not cool in your 40s). Well, now he has been living with us for a month and he is acting strangely towards me. He is friendly, but jumps if I step near him. I hug and kiss everyone (very European), but he moves away and squirms if I go to hug him goodbye. My husband is a very secure man and comfortable with my ex living with us. They get along very well. But even my husband said "you have a friend living with us and you guys never hang out. He never invites you to hang out or even to watch tv. That's so weird".
So, I have two questions.
1. Would you ever live with an ex and his/her spouse? Why?
2. Why is my ex acting like I have the plague? He is friendly and chatty sometimes, but appears terrified to hang out with me or let me touch him, even on the arm.
Most Helpful Guy
I would never invite my ex to live with myself and my wife, and I would never allow my wife's ex to live with us. And if she ever even brought up the possibility, I'd move out.0