Why does it hurt to break up with someone you want gone?

You've been thinking about the break up for a long time. You planned it and mentally prepared yourself. Its for the best. Yet why do I feel so terrible afterwards?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i'm in a similar situation. I liked him a LOT but I knew it had to be over because he was a major jerk and did not respect me. obviously he was not always that mean but he changed.

    but I still have trouble and feel tempted to contact him sometimes. he was part of my life for months.

    and I always remember the good times we had.

    and now I don't have anyone special in my life.

    it's a big black hole. even if you have no feelings left, you still had someone and now you don't.

    and if you had strong feelings for the person, well, it's even worse.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It hurts because you are letting go of the status of not being alone, you are hurting the person's feelings, and you end up looking like the "bad guy" if you dump someone.

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    • Or, you could still have feelings. But I have felt pain from the above things every time and felt like such a jerk.

  • It is a loss. A lot of people grieve losses. Even if you're completely over the person and glad to have the relationship end, it's still an end to something you've invested time and emotion into.

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  • because it's still a loss. just because it is best for the relationship to end doesn't mean you don't still have feelings for the other person

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  • The only way I feel terrible , And that's if I still care . Or you don't want to be with them , But you don't want to hurt their feelings . But sometimes you know you shouldn't be with someone , But you have gotten used to them being around. You just have to do what's best in the situation.

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What Guys Said 2

  • That happens to people who break up because in order for the relationship to happen in the first place, there had to be love. If there wasn't love, the couple wouldn't be together. People feel terrible after breaking up because even though things went sour, there was once something there. The break up is filled with remorse and thoughts of "if only things could have been like they used to".

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    • I've dated and broken up with people I wasn't really in love with and I don't think they were either...

      I guess some people make a difference between dating and having a relationship, other people don't. It gets harder to define when it doesn't start with someone confessing, just 2 people interested in one another... Just saying.

    • Hm...

      I only speak for myself, but to me, dating and having a relationship is the same. I would invest as much into each as I would the other. But that's just me.

  • Because deep down, part of you wonders if you were truly justified in doing so. And that doubt eats at you, until it becomes guilt. And if you don't atone for the guilt somehow, it eats you alive.

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