I think blaming myself for the whole break up is keeping me from moving on complete ? Need help

i have been having a hard time getting over a break up with my best friend. it's been 2 years.so here I go. It all started when I had develop feeling for her .i didn't want to tell her about how I truly felt for her because she all ready had a boyfriend. one day I was on Facebook and I saw a photo of her with him kissing I just couldn't stand seem them together any longer. so I deleted her off of my page. I was going to re add her once I was over her .She found out that I deleted her and she wanted to know why I did it .i didn't tell her why.i just re add her and acted like I didn't mean to do it but she saw though my lie. she then ask me if I had a problem with her. I said it was kind of a long list of problems but I will tell you when I'm ready .she took what I was saying the wrong way and said some pretty hurtful things to me then she delete me this time after she did that I thought I lost my friend ,so I decided to just tell her everything .i told her I was sorry for deleting her. I just couldn't take seeing her with other guys .she said she was sorry to. after that we didn't talk for about 3 months .about the 1th month I thought I was over her .and I thought the worst had past .until I came across a conversation she was having with her boyfriend. when I saw it and read it the green eye monster had gotten the better of me. I wasn't think right I just lost it. next thing I know I'm on her fickler and her fromspings saying crazy things like why him,i was all ways there for you. all that jealousy didn't help my thinking.i sent what I said to her it wasn't until I went away to cool off ,my better judgment kick in.knowing that I just made a big mistake. I went back as fast as I could to delete the two emails before she could see them I though I did because I didn't see them anymore i was think the two websites work like Facebook .when I thought the two emails were going I forgot I ever sent them and I never look back .about the third month she hit me up asking how I was doing I told her I was good still a little up sit about the names she call me .she said she had ever right to say them because of how I was acting .I didn't like that but I let it go.i thought we were OK and back to being friends. until the day she block on Facebook. i didn't think it was her who block me I thought it was her boyfriend. so I went to him because I had so much trusty an fate in her. I thought after all that there was no way she would do something like that to me. So I assumed he hack her page saw the conversation we had, got upset and block me without her ever knowing .But I was wrong it was her .I ended up making a fool out of myself and got embarrassed and humiliated.I found out that she block me because of the two emails .she thought I turn into a stalker .but that wasn't all why she was saying that .she assumed that I subscribe to her and just her that was not true.Facebook did that. i feel like this is all my fault because I had so much jealousy blocking and clouding my better judgment and ability to think .i believe I'm having such a hard time moving on for good because I'm putting all of the blame on me. And I keep think about the what if's.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Jealousy is a natural human feeling so it OK that you feel that. All wounds heal with time as well. For now focus on you and do things that make you happy so you aren't so consumed by this. She has a right to be with who she wants just as you do too. There IS someone out there for you and as much as you probably don't want to hear it there is probably a good reason why you 2 haven't worked out. Maybe you 2 are better off as friends anyway if you are struggling this much already with out the demands of a relationship in the mix too? Stop blaming yourself for what you have done in the past already you can't change it just decide to make better decisions going forward and learn and grow from it and forgive yourself. People make mistakes everyday no one is perfect we are all human.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Okay, yeah, you made some pretty big mistakes.

    Forgive yourself for them. Everyone gets jealous. Everyone makes mistakes. You have to learn from them and move on.

    Figure out why your reactions were what they were and then stop them from being your reactions in the future. Become the person you want to be. Forgive yourself for your past actions and focus on the person you are now.

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  • I have done this...the best thing to do is ask her to talk in person...explain the mishap of twitter etc...do not mention you liking her...she doesn't like you like that...if you were friends with her for that long...she would've made a move or let you know is she felt the same. If you truly wana be friends you can be but if you are hoping for a relationship let it go...it isn't happening...plus she has a bf...

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    • Yah I doubt she will even reply back to me .but I will think about it .thanks for your advice

  • but it IS all your fault...

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    • How is it all my fault ?yah with I did had something to do with it .but she made some bad calls to like not come to me to see why I did what I did.

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