Cheating on your Girlfriend

Have you done it before?

Certainly most would agree that cheating is wrong. But what about the cheaters? Tons of people cheat! What do they think? What is their excuse?

I have found myself in a situation that doesn't seem like it can go anywhere good. I have a girlfriend that I still have feelings for (although diminished) and this new girl has entered the scene. I feel terrible because things with the new girl keep progressing but I can't let go of the girlfriend. Neither knows about the other. Something terrible is going to happen, I just know it, and I am stressed all the time. Everything seems just so damn... inevitable.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • cheating affected tiger's golf game . it would probably hurt you too somehow.

    learn from tiger

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What Girls Said 15

  • You know... I started to give some realistic advice that could help you decide what to do to help decide... But I deleted it. Sorry. Anyone who knowingly and intentionally allows feelings to build with someone else while deceiving both that person and his girlfriend is undeserving of my assistance.

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  • I like Johnny Depp's saying:

    “if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”

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  • Okay, the first thing you need to do is to stop acting like there's nothing you can do to stop yourself from cheating. It doesn't work that way. Cheating is always a conscious choice. If you want to be with the new girl you have to break it off with your girlfriend first. Don't wait until you cheat. Don't even wait until the new girl is a sure thing. Just break it off and take the risk. But don't cheat. And don't plan an excuse. It's spineless and disgusting.

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  • Let her go so she can get another guy. You want to be with this new girl yet keep your girlfriend and that's not fair to her. How would you feel if she had another guy who she has feelings for knowing she wanted more but couldn't let you go. You would feel like complete sh*t. Just dump the girl and save her some heartache

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  • I am in the similar situation except the guy is in a relationship but I know, it sounds like you and this new girl have a connection - although you need to work out whether its just lust and will go away or that you may have feelings for her and with your girlfriend - you may not feel so strong about her ( people will not even think of cheating if they are completly happy or in love with their current partner) so I suggest think about this sooner then later before you loose both ! :)

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  • depends on the relationship. Some relationships aren't always exclusive. so its not really cheating if your partner is doing it too and you're both aware of it. sometimes its hot ;)

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  • Either stop the progressing relationship with the new girl, or end your existing relationship. You have the power to stop this.

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  • If you're so into this new girl that you're considering cheating, it's time to let your girlfriend go. You said that your feelings for her have diminished so it sounds like you're mostly just afraid to let go at this point. And your feelings for her will probably just keep fading the more you think about this new girl. It's not fair to your girlfriend to keep lying to her face either. You need to decide whether you're truly committed to your girlfriend or whether you need something more. Then pick a side and don't cheat!

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  • Just be ready to lie in the bed you make. It may get ugly... I know from experience! (I was the other girl). That being said, "this too shall pass;" it will be an uncomfortable few weeks if it does get ugly buy they'll eventually forget.

    If either find out you'll lose them both and chances are you're going to end up hurting one of them; be prepared for that.

    I find that (as lame as it sounds!) writing lists helps! Why do you not respect your girlfriend enough to cheat on her but still want to be with her? Do you really want to be with her or do you just find it uncomfortable to leave her ?

    I've been there though and in all honestly will probably be there again. Came VERY close but didn't and am glad about that :)

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  • Just break up with your girlfriend if you think you're going to cheat. Seriously, nobody wants to be 2nd best, or only 1st place by default in a relationship. By the sound of it, it seems like you are already cheating, at least emotionally.

    Read "NOT Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. It provides some insight as to why people cheat, but it does put too much blame on the victim. The bottom line is entitlement, really. link

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  • I'm kinda in a similiar situation...I have a guy friend that we have messed around a few times and now we have strong feelings for each other. He has a girlfriend that is actually his baby mama. She has cheated on him several times, they have even split but then she got pregnant so he decided to stay. I know about her but she doesn't know about me. Since I am the non girlfriend, I am going to tell you that it is not fair for the new girl or your girlfriend. You need to be honest with your feelings and make a decision and stick with it. Ask yourself, are you willing to lose the person that truly cares about you and that you truly care for because you will lose one or both eventually.

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  • Things always come back around. Be the cheater, and cheating will eventually come back to haunt you. Whether it be by getting cheated on in the future, or making up for the mistakes of another cheating man with the girl you end up with. Or hey...ending up alone. I've seen that one happen too. Ultimately, I've never seen a cheater not pay for their mistakes later.

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  • Only a**holes cheat. If you want a new relationship, fine break up with her.

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  • no one said sticking to your morals was always easy.

    It's not inevitable, it's easy, either break up with Girlfriend or start giving new girl the cold shoulder.

    There's never an excuse for cheating.

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  • i think you should tell the new girl that you still have feeeling for your ex she will understand but if you wait and she finds out later or from some one else it could end your relationship. and if you feel like you like your ex more then new girlfriend then you should tell the new girl that you like her a lot but it isn't fair 2 her because you like some one else more. and then you should tell your ex how you feel and seek into getting back together

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What Guys Said 8

  • Don't EVER cheat. EVER. No excuse.

    You want to go pursuit things with this other girl, fine. But a real man will break it off with a girl before going to the next. She has put a emotional investment in you, the least you can do is give her the respect and break it off before anything happens.

    You can't be so selfish. Only cowards cheat, and that goes for women as well. Cheaters are in the same category to me as child molesters. Just disgusting human filth. You're better than that.

    Good luck.

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  • If I'm in a relationship then I'm with her. That's what's dating is for. When you find a girl that you want to have a relationship with you shouldn't want to cheat, otherwise just break up with her. Don't be a douche.

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  • You should not have seen the new girl. If both find out about each other, then both will dump you. You have to make a choice. Do you want them to both find out and lose both of them, or do you want to stay with one and keep one? It is better to break up than cheat. If you don't love your girlfriend anymore, then you should have told her instead of leading her on. Otherwise she will feel like you never cared about her at all, and/or will feel resentful and used.

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  • You should never cheat on your girlfriend. It will just ruin your relationship.

    Start distancing yourself from the new girl.

    For me, I haven't done it before. It's so disrespectful to my current partner.

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  • I have been cheated on in every relationship. So now I think I will start getting them before they get me. Do it instead of having it done to me for a change.

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  • The f*** is wrong with you? You "can't let go"? Just dump your girlfriend, p****. Then start banging the next chick. Easy.

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  • I have never cheated anyone, but I myself have been cheated twice by the women I dated. And shockingly, one of them cheated on me with her own uncle (ugh, incest). Having been at the receiving end twice, I can confirm that its EXTREMELY painful and humiliating for a person when he/she comes to know that he/she has been cheated on. And I'm sure your girlfriend isn't an exception to this, so she will be in MASSIVE pain when she comes to know you cheated on her. On the other hand, if this new girl comes to know about your girlfriend first, then she won't really be hurt that bad, but she's sure as hell gonna dump you.

    In any case, I'd like to say that 'cheating' is an extremely cruel and selfish act, and I certainly feel that cheating is comparable to crimes like rape and murder. And people who cheat (men or women) are the most worthless, filthy scum of this planet. And whatever maybe the circumstances, there is simply no justification for cheating. Only cowards cheat, because REAL men and women break up with their partner before starting with a new person. So, its not really 'inevitable', as you seem to think. Since you haven't cheated much yet (I'm using the word 'much' because your words seem to imply that you haven't gotten physical with this new girl yet), you now have a clear choice. Choose either your girlfriend or the new girl, but not both. You need to understand that you can't have your cake and eat it too.

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  • Dude eat the shark b4 the shark eats you bro . I wanted to cheat on my girlfriend but I felt bad and I was like nah , a couple months later she cheated on me . So it's your call I might have made a mistake by not cheating on her . But I should have . It depends how you feel with your old girlfriend bro . I mean this time the shark ate me , and you never want to be eaten by a shark right ?

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