He held back on getting together last year but now he is all for it?

This guy work friend of mine, we've known each other a looong time and we work fairly close together. I know him very well and he is a very sincere and honest guy. Last year some chemistry developed and he started flirting with me. This lasted months and even his friends started making "when are you gonna get together" type comments at us. I let him know in no uncertain terms I wanted to get together. But he seemed to pause and hold back. And went very quiet for a few months.

During this time I felt very messed around and hurt so I backed off and as it happened changed departments at that time so my exposure to him was very limited.

However after a few months he then started seeking me out again and is now very eager and wants to progress things on now. He seems very smitten and honestly very invested in this but my trust levels in him have dropped as a result.

Can anyone off some insight?

Why pursue me early last year for months if he had no intention of bringing it anywhere?

I'm surprised cos I know him to be a very good guy and he is not a player at all.

Would appreciate some guys perspective on this.
Thanks for your answers.

Should I confront him about - and just ask him upfront? Or should I just go out with him a few times first and mention it then when we're a bit closer?

I hate the thought of him leading me on last year for months then backing off cos he met someone better then came back to me once it ended. I just feel so second hand. If I was important to him I don't think he would have wasted so much time.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems that he got hold on his feelings, and you're really the girl for him.

    He's really putting his all now, so don't be surprised if he will be moving too fast.

    • You think he's fallen hard? Would have thought he would have jumped at it long ago instead of dragging it on so long if that were the case. I feel so messed around

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Sometimes people aren't ready for what-ever reason or something else is going on in their lives but it doesn't necessarily mean he wasn't sure how he felt for you. Now that those reasons aren't there now he wants a shot with you.

    I think his intentions are sincere as I've been in that exact position. If you still like him, give him a chance. Hopefully it works out better for him then it did for me.

    If you do, don't make it too hard for him. It can ruin any chance for something good to develop.


What Girls Said 3

  • He wasn't really sure back then, he wasn't ready to admit that he feels the same way for you too. Now that he's made up his mind, he's very sure of what he wants: YOU.

    • I'd go for "...go out with him a few times first and mention it then when we're a bit closer" :)

      And and you're not second hand honey, like what we said, he was just confused that time and not really sure what he felt for you. The girl you said he met, was the key there. He was just trying things out, trying to see if the feelings he had for that girl was genuine, and realized that she was never really the one his heart wanted but you.

    • Thanks for that.

    • You are very welcome. God bless on that.

  • He probably wasn't ready for something serious back then and men chicken out or lose interest in the girl when relationship potential is too obvious. You are probably right in not trusting him... and you should never trust a guy with your whole heart. Always keep the edge and the advantage and he will be proposing you kids, marriage and the house.

  • You should give him a chance if your not seeing any one or still into him.

    He didn't seem to do anything wrong. It seems he had to clear things out of his way.

    Idk...maybe. But if he's putting his best foot forward and you guys have good communication. I would try explaining where I'm coming from and why I'm a little affected by his actions...maybe he can shed some light on the situation and help you better understand what happened at that time he pulled back...communication is always the key. Then you can quickly get back to being in love again ;-). Good luck.


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